You cannot “Magick” everything to go your way….


Oh hell yes pictures tell stories…

But human beings, namely the Witchy sort, tell them, too.

Lots of them, and while I will not ever outright call anyone who Practices this beautiful Craft to be…getting ahead of themselves… I will boldly state, right now, that if you are practicing, or learning to practice, or learned to practice for the purpose of “Magicking” your lifeʻs ills and struggles away?

Stop trying, right now.

In fact, go put the broom back into the closet, throw your crystals out into the garden where you have planted all of those beautifully witchy sounding flowers and herbs, go fill up the  bathtub, put some Pink Salt in it, get your ass in there, and please do us all the favor of washing the ego off…today…

IF you are out in this world teaching people who need to know what you know, in terms of the shit that you have bothered to NOT try to cast a spell and make disappear, you need to know that you are going to go through that shit anyway – or are you not THAT sort of Practitioner?

Are you that one that tells the world what you are, but only because it makes you feel empowered over other people who MIGHT be impressed, but lovelies – if you have to TELL people that this is what you are, and you are not going through the lessons that are coming into your life (which some may be repeat lessons that you THINK you have  magicked away, all so that you do not have to suffer???) …you are not telling the whole Truth.

And you know you arenʻt.

I do very strange things, and there was a time when I could do them all in the privacy, at least, of the neighborʻs backyard – each on either side knew that if they saw me in their yard doing what appeared to be yard work?

They knew that I was gathering things for ritual.

If they heard me talking to myself, they knew that I was not doing that at all, and they always left me alone.

If I needed to create something for it, I left nothing stating that I did…and what has this to do with anything at all?

You are making what we who have been this for a very long time have to clear things up for you, and more, with the people who you have left with an open door through the veil and yeah, in more ways than one you are letting the cat…and the demons…outta the bag….

We are  meant as stewards of the Human Race, and in that energy we are here to teach others to be kind, to love the planet, to practice and live peaceably as much and as well as we are able, to be compassionate, and to never ever leave anything, any place, and namely ANY PERSON in lesser energies than they were prior to the workings.

What we do is NOT just something that too many television shows have turned in to “Parlor Tricks” 101 …and no, not all of those shows are like this and most of those who are part of the teams that go hunting for ghosties are legitimate, even when we judge them as being otherwise. It is not ours to judge that (even as I know I just did) and that is not what I am here to tell anyone.

That you have abilities is one thing, but, how are you using them to get to the next level of being able to use them? Are you using them to just impress people, scare them, intimidate them? Are you facing off with Christians just for the sake of having come out of the broom closet because you are defending your beliefs as much as they are speaking out for theirs (even if what we feel is that the way that those beliefs are being represented is the wrongest way that they could be?), or, like I have seen, more than one time – are you out in this world dabbling in Magick that you are not prepared to practice because you are using your abilities in the least positive way that you can?

If you are, then you are really not doing you any favors by using them to avoid clearing Karma that you are meant to clear in this lifetime. It is likely that the reason you have abilities is FOR that purpose, and here you are, a whole lot of you, acting like the idea that you can sense things, or that you can make things happen, or that you have “sight” or “hearing” of the sixth-sense sort, that you are meant to use those gifts to avoid what you are here to learn.

Yeah I know this one real well because a little more than a decade ago this was me. I was able to see things very clearly, but, unlike now, when it is that I can interpret it all because I did not turn away from these challenges that, when it all came to a boiling point in April of last year, I learned over the course of the last year what no one can ever tell me that I do not know enough about. While I will not go into what I am talking about in detail, what I will state is that without having gone through and still GOING through this shit, I would not have the awareness of certain things, some of those things being on the Astral Plane, that I now have. One of those things is that I trust my abilities more now, not because I practiced them but because I actually have been using them the whole time and did not know it.

What the hell do you think you are gifted for, so that you can skip all of your lessons? You canʻt.

Or you can try to, and when you are not on this plane any longer you will have to come back to finish the learning. I mean, I know it is easy to learn a lot online but, there are things that no one can just…learn…because the truth is that all of us is here to learn and when we are done with one lesson, no matter what – another one follows. When we do not bother to learn them while they are right there and evidently not going to stop showing up, it means that you are meant to get through that challenge and that you might even struggle through it all. That you will struggle is one thing, but, have you noticed that when you keep trying to use the same things that served you in one area of your life, it fails in another?

That is because you cannot be good at only one part of your gifts. You might be pronounced in one area and sorely lacking in another. You might not ever get to be proficient in every area but, that is why the shit keeps happening – so that you will learn to stretch your abilities.

If you must have evidence of this pertaining to me, as well, that is easy – I have owned, read, interpreted correctly, The Tarot….but, because I Am Me, in the human being sense, I Am an impatient learner. I know this because in my life as a college student, anyone who knows me as that will tell you that I Love To Learn, and my grades reflect it, even the ones that are kinesiology (P.E. if you donʻt know what that means) – my point is that while I Am a Book Smart person, I am not book smart enough for everything. Where I lack is the action taken upon the words. This does not mean that I am stupid or anything -it means that in certain areas I need to practice. I will know if I am not meant for that activity if all I do is keep trying and not succeeding at it.

It also does not mean that I give up, or that in NOT knowing or learning how to read or do anything I am desirous of learning, that I will not experience disappointment – this is the same thing for me, The Tarot, as is most college mathematics. I want to know how to figure out equations and how to create formulas but, after 45 years in schools, with a decade of not being in a learning environment like I am now, it is evident to me that I wonʻt learn them like many others do because I am simply stronger in other areas, like writing and dancing….which ainʻt too shabby.

Where we think we lack in one area, we are stronger in others. Sometimes, we need those areas we “lack” in (I prefer to think of it as “C for Charlie” because earning a “C” in college is a passing grade and yes I DO get Cʻs…keep reading) or are averagely intelligent in, to give support to those areas where we are Herculean in our abilities….and that last part is true for all of us, and no not just as being a success at failure, because only a MASTER HAS FAILED MANY MANY TIMES….get that one truth worn like a bad tattoo already -you cannot master ANYTHING without FAILING AGAIN AND AGAIN.

As far as giving up goes…just because you failed, the other scenario, again, like me with the cards, is that the timing, for you, was off.

It merely means to try again another time, which, I have been doing and well, it turns out that I needed to go through everything that, to this point, even right this moment when I have the most ….weighted feeling…a feeling of being depressed (and yeah I have been diagnosed with Depression…keep reading, please…)  and at this time, the last thing that I ought to do, even as I WANT to do it, is use my abilities to shun what is another moment for learning something, possible from another place where I Am gifted the chance to be the third person – when that happens, I know that I have learned.

It does not, however, mean that I will not go through things like whatever “it” was again. It means that through the bullshit, I have come up with my own way to get through it, and when I know that there is someone else who is going through something like it, I have the experience of having gone through it, with the intention of learning from it, because we can choose to keep on going through things and trying to make those things no longer be in our lives, and we can keep on cloaking them with magickal words and we can burn herbs and light candles and can keep on asking for the lesson to go away but it is not going to, namely if it is meant that you are to lead, somehow, others to their own place of healing through those same things, even if the wounds are Chironic in nature and wonʻt truly completely heal.

They donʻt heal all the way for a reason, and that reason is that we have to remember what the hell it is that made us nutty for longer than we thought we would be, and in doing things that way, we chose to limit who we were becoming.

When we try to limit who we are meant to become, and we are not aware of the fact that even when we think we are losing, what we actually are doing is learning.

There are no losers, no winners, when there is learning, and it would magickal of people to learn that one thing -there are no winners or losers when you are not playing a game, but that when you are learning – THERE IS PASS (C) OR NO PASS (D) and you just try again – it is called a MASTERS DEGREE because so many times in undergrad studies – STUDENTS FAIL HORRIFICALLY AND I AM NOT DIFFERENT…just older and lots mouthier.

There is only a lesson coming one at a time and our needing to learn them all.

What feels like loss, unless we are willing to learn about it and change to accommodate it and turn it into a place of power for ourselves, is actually a life lesson that needs to be learned or at least the outcome that we want that never comes into being, NAMELY when it is something of actual dollar value (because we are priceless, folks, and no person is truly worthless…keep reading) …once we learn that we are far more precious than any THING our working to avoid lessons can bring us (for a short time, even…do you not realize that everything that you lose leaves room for more of what you want there in its space? It doesnʻt even have to be something new…it can be something that was already there and present that needed to be made better….we donʻt know this UNTIL WE CHOOSE TO BRAVELY STEP INTO THE STRUGGLE FOR REAL…keep…on…reading…please….) …shit changes

When we know that what anyone else told us that was good about us IS NOT A LIE, and we can take that knowledge with us into any struggle, it matters.

It matters because we are yet on this plane, and because we have been sent to this lifetime with what seems like an endlessness of bullshit, there is truth to the idea that the bullshit we go through is only the same amount as the badassery we are creating ourselves as being. When we see that our loved ones are seemingly flying towards a better future, and that we had the heart enough to wish them the best, and we know that THEY believed what we were saying, things…Magickal things, for everyone, begins to happen.

Unfortunately, too many people do not look at the big fat picture. They want the end result but without having to go through the bullshit that they are faced with.

I mean, no – no I would not want to go through any of what I am still going through, at all, but, I am certainly not going to stop working towards learning what I Am learning, because I donʻt know what Magickal changes are under way – I just know that there has to be a reason why, everyday now, for like, 7 or 8 months, I have cried…sometimes a little, sometimes a lot, with right this moment not being any different.

They are a deluge, really, and I am not certain whose tears they are, or who they are for, or if they are out of frustration and the idea that I have been struggling for lots longer than only since last spring.

However, I would not be at this Spring and almost done with this lesson in terms of my own personal power….and I wonʻt know it unless I choose to continue learning the lessons that I simply and one day surrendered to. It did not make the pain lesser by any means, but, with the thought in my head that all the things that hurt us are temporary, and that once the lesson has been learned, we have already been putting to practice what we are meant to be able to help other people with, because other people go through shit, too.

Seriously…when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

It would be lots nicer if, like in college, we get to schedule our classes and choose our instructors, but it isnʻt.

What we learn in the classroom is not what we learn in the Craft.

It is more like what we learn in the classroom, wherever a Magickal person is in attendance, we utilize and share with our fellow learners, because we do not know when we have met who we will teach or who will teach us. Sometimes the lessons are momentary but make  huge impact, and other times, long and challenging in every way they possibly can be.

My own lessons are being given to me straight up and harsh….I donʻt like them.

I like learning.

I donʻt like hurting.

I like learning to heal from it all when I have to.

This does not mean that I am going to stop Being My Magickal Me

It means that the human being who is also Me sometimes needs My Magickal Me to take over.

You canʻt grow into who you are becoming if you are not willing to learn how to be that person.


#ThinkAboutIt #TheCottellWitches #BandBackTogether #MagickalWomen #TheRockin9th #MainlandMaoliGirl #HeebieJeebieAuntyRox


The Actuality of Karmic Response


Karma can be depended on

“…Once youʻve lived a little you will find that whatever you send out into the world comes back to you…”

(Beloved Metal Guitarist, Slash, on Karma)

Let it ever be well known that whatever it is that any one of us is meant to learn, meant to go through, we will go through, and more – the more that we think we can get out into this world, thinking the shitty things that we will, about anything or anyone at all, we are automatically creating Karma for ourselves.

Lots of people like to think of it as being the junkyard dog that Karma is not.

If people would just pay attention to the things that they think and are feeling at the time that they are expressing the things that we are feeling instead of being a humane, balanced person in every aspect of our being there would be LOTS less karmic energy on this planet.

Thing is, though…human beings live on this planet, and in that measure, we are going to create our own Karmic destiny, whether we judge it “good” or “bad” and depending upon why it is that we believe that we ought to damn anyone else to the hell that we live in within our minds. 

That is the truth. There is no escaping it, any of it, and no matter how many times we try shifting the blame to what we want to see as being outer sources, we are GOING TO experience the same things, over and over again, until we learn…and sometimes, learning means that we simply and just have to let go of the anger. This is not something that is new to me, and what is new to me is the most beautiful thing in the world….

…it is called freedom.

No, not the kind of false freedom that comes from getting oneʻs self out of a relationship that has run its course, no matter what kind it is, but rather the kind that we end up having once it is that we have accepted that we are the reason for the Karma. We donʻt want to accept that we can make such a mess of things, and we cannot stand it when we are wrong about anything, namely how we have chosen to learn from the things that we are presented with.

I am not calling myself better or stronger than anyone else, because that would be a falsehood and one that I cannot even begin to wrap my head around no matter how much I have tried. There are not a lot of people who do not know this about me – I take responsibility for the things that I know are mine to learn from, and there is no person on this planet who is not full of themselves who has encountered me and has had what they think is a bad experience where somehow I have been present. That I have been present, that I have shown up in every way possible, open and vulnerable to the things that Karma can bring to me is one thing, but that I accept the things that I have done, thought, been through, have chosen to take responsibility for the way that I handle myself is lesser important to me than it is that anyone else reads these words and figure out that there are times in our lives when it is no one else who can do anything for us BUT us…and still, some of us, sadly, cannot let go of the idea that we did nothing wrong.

There is your first mistake – believing that anyone else has that much power to wreck who we are, for whatever reason it is that we believe what we will. It all boils down to our process and our life patterns – if we are wise, we will look at the things that we have been through with others in the past, and if we are wiser, we will, once the shit hits the fan, place ourselves as being the one component that was needed in order for things to go so awry – when we choose to do nothing, and we choose to leave the things that we know are ours to deal with, and when we decide that the ridiculous and actual material THINGS are more important to us because they symbolize a time in our lives when we might have followed the outer rules, but chose not to follow the gut instinct where the thought in our heads ought to have been that the great energies we were experiencing were not going to last forever….it is THAT moment where we ought to have been grateful for the experience, rather than hanging on to the hope that this end result in material and tangible proof of our outer selves was the thing that was also our inner selves…is where lots of unenlightened, lots of humans still preferring, in some areas of their lives, to stay asleep in the soul.

We choose to stay asleep.

Think about that for a moment and see that even in the body, we are very comfortable when we are sleeping. Sleeping makes it possible that we recoup in the body and regenerate the soul through the mechanism of dreaming.  Indeed sleeping heals the body and of course regenerates the mind but that is not the sort of sleeping I am talking about.

To sleep means that for a few hours, in terms of the body, we get to rest our minds from the outer world. It is the inner world that causes us to be the way that we are, whether we are angry or calm, whether we are sad or happy – that which we believe is the truth of us always comes out into the world as the actual truth of who we are at any given moment. And the reality is that we are not the way that we are, again – at any given time – because of other people, but instead because of ourselves.

We believe that we are these people who we were, and when the shit hits the fan and we are so cemented to the past that the only thing that we see ahead of us is a future that is bleak and ugly – that is not someone elseʻs judgment of those things, but our own.

We have all done it – given the power away to others, even when they do not take it from us. We believe that just because that is our perception of it that that is the truth no matter what. In reality what you are doing, what anyone is doing, is wishing or trying to wish those thoughts into being. When it comes to other people, we have to remember that the one thing that we are doing when we wish onto them the calamities that we are going through, that we are setting that Karmic reality up for ourselves, and it is worse if we are believing that it will happen to anyone else, NAMELY if we KNOW the truth is that we are the ones in control of our outer lives by means of our inner lives.

Our inner lives are lived by our inner selves

I Am a Pisces.

What this means and is typical to all Pisces is that we live a very rich inner life. We are the most imaginative, most intuitive, most Psychic Mediums of the Zodiac. Over the years and through the help of many, many teachers, both those who are actual teachers of the weirdness like myself, or teachers who do not realize that this is what they have been in my life, I have learned very well the Karmic patterns of life. Over the years, the one thing that I have also been able to manage learning in the most…scientific way…is knowing what our patterns are, and applying what I see there to the charts that I read for others and I can see contained in those things the pattern of someoneʻs life, and more – how it is that within them there is the ability (or the challenge to that ability…meaning that it is your Karma to learn it so you do not have to go through it again…) to grow beyond what feels good.

No one realizes that ALL of the things that we go through are actually manifested by us and through us -we end up having to experience the same damned things that everyone else does, and some of us still think that we are not the ones who are responsible for the things that happened to our lives…

The shit that hits the fan is our to learn from…

And when we do not learn, we end up having to deal with things that we never thought we would have to. When we wish horrid things on othersʻ lives, what we are really doing is making those things an absolute for us, making those things happen for us.

This means that if something happens in your life that sucks, and something happens by means and through means of other peoplesʻ shittiness, other peoplesʻ egotistical need for power that is seen rather than created within ourselves, and we are bothered by the things that we do not realize we have the power to change through changing our thoughts…we are destined to go through those experiences. When we ignore it all, place blame on others, and continue to do that, what we are doing, for real, is bringing that right back to ourselves, and the shittiest part of that is it is a FACT that no one wants to believe that this is how this works.

And we have the very gaul nerve to want things to improve, even and while we are bothering to still blame everyone else we know and used to know for our troubles. I have always believed that unless we can see ourselves as part of the problems in our lives, rather than above and apart FROM them, we will never ever come up with a solution. The reason being that the Karmic loop will always remind us, certainly through those who we KNOW were there for us, who it is that not only meant the most to us, but also who we, through our ignorance to Universal Laws and our own tininess of inner self….of where it is that we were either not even looking or more – are not believing that those others would not eventually make us well aware of the idea that we are who, ourselves, has caused this Karma.

Such as when you wish the bad things that you state you want for yourself, you suddenly are not that shitty person anymore, and it all boils down to living the outer life without even bothering with our shitty inner selves – thatʻs right, I said it so deal with it…. when we are not willing to live with the idea that we are and have the propensity to be shitty humans, taking on the energies of what is outside of us rather than healing the inside through learning from the things that we have to go through by right of our egotistical leanings versus our lying to ourselves about what is and what is not the truth, we are, in that moment, no longer blameless. We are who is responsible for EVERYTHING that happens in our lives, no matter who we are, who we think we are, what we think we deserve, what we think it is that anyone else deserves. I am in no way making it as though we have ZERO chance to make things right for ourselves…with me that is never the case.

I have absolute belief in the human soul, a dear and deep belief in the idea that everyone deserves a chance to be their greatest selves but I have to draw the line at that place in the sand where when it is that anyone elseʻs life turns to shit, that because I am what and who I am, that I am, for anyone, the reason why life sucks for someone else

I will be the last one to tell anyone else that clearing your Karma and not reliving those patterns is easy – it is not, truly, for the faint of heart. If you believe that others have more power than you have over your own life, it also means that you are not willing to take up the reigns of your own soul to take over the Path that some of us want to be rightly on, but not a lot of us are willing to go through the pain of forgiving people, but mostly ourselves. When we have this energy within us that will not let us believe the truth that we are the reason why life sucks or doesnʻt suck, we also have the propensity to turn those thoughts into our actual lives and when that happens, we are more inclined to believe that we are sinless when others bring calamity to us.

I have been through this..chaotic shit…for the bulk of my life, and in that time the thing that I have learned the most and best and continue to learn is being able to accept that I am not perfect, but that I am also not the one who has to deal with these things that, in the energetic sense, were never ever mine to have to make right for others. That some things have happened in the lives of others and that have been the worst time in their lives does not now nor will it ever mean that because of that much, by reason of association, I am to blame..

When that happens, I go within and really think about what it is that has transpired, no matter what time in my life it is , and no matter what it is that I am facing at any given time. I know that for things to change for me I have to see myself as the part of the issue that is most powerful in that without my being involved somehow, nothing can change for anyone, but least of all for myself. There is nothing in this world that anyone can do for us that will be anything tangible if we are not ready for it – we have to be ready for the change for it to be implemented. If we are scared of the change that is not new – that is normal and is meant for anyone at all to see it there, within us each, to know when it is that we are not all we think we are, that there are things that we have to change about who we are and that we are not meant to be what we used to be, simply because we have to rise to who we are now becoming..

…and that is the truth.

You donʻt have to believe it


The Truth About Magickal Women

June 5 2014 Living with Aloha Meme

Magickal Women  – We are everything that you cannot believe we are, and more…

…including honest, sometimes beyond fault.

I did not know that this is what I was being taught I would Be, through all those years in the company of the …empowered…women in my life, throughout my life, and the ones who have no idea what they taught me, or more, the means through which I was taught that thing called Truth and the revealing of it.

Most of the time, it is not because we called it into Being, Truth….

…most of the time, we merely show up in the lives of certain others and at certain times because those certain others have called us into Being in their lives and typically they do not know that this is what they have done.

Always….it is the Goddess who prompts us to either answer those Truths, or, allow them to pass us by – when we do that…allow them to pass us by…it means that we have avoided something that, in our Souls we know was the best thing we could do.

We are the women who have been blamed for nearly everything awful that happens in this world, and we are the ones, as well, once it is that we have been found out to be correct, are more harshly judged, even now, much as it was in the days of the Salem Witch trials.

At the global level, we are calling on humanity to finally do us a solid and get us on the real….

We are the women who the media portrays as either horrifically ugly and hard to look at, or strikingly gorgeous….but the reality is that we are all women, are represented by all women, and we, in kind, represent the Lilith energy in astrology.

Make no mistake – Biblically, it is thought that Lilith was Adamʻs first wife and later he was married to Eve (who would be Adamʻs DAUGHTER…think about it)…I can only state that having been in church my whole time as a kid taught me that there are two sides to every symbol, and that no one OTHER than a Magickal Woman would EVER see that Lilith and Eve represent the Two Sides of a Woman…. The Light and the Dark. The Evil and the Good.the Angel and The Devil…

All women have these two sides. We are all the Virgin and we are all the Porn Star, are each and all The Little Woman at Home, as well as the very Mistress of one manʻs deepest fantasies…

All of us knows this about ourselves, and we impress this upon the people in our lives the most, because those are the ones who have to know this about us...we are virginal in the idea that we learn new things everyday, but are the porn star when it comes to being an old pro at certain things that, righted by the Goddess Herself, are also part of our Magickal toobox that we are very dearly careful with.

This includes our very selves….just like a singer in a band whose instrument is the Voice…we become the Magick as much as the singer becomes the song. As much as we have been portrayed as being the darker side of the Human Feminine Divine, what we have not ever really been thought of is “good”.

By “good” I mean that we are good people, who do good things for other people, and we are people who care about others, but specifically the people in our lives. While it might be that we are around when the shit hits the fan, if others would bother to see just that one thing – when everyone else seemed to be gone from our lives, there were always the ones who stayed. The ones who stayed were not always the ones who were readily accepted by the people in even their own lives, but that never mattered – the only thing that mattered was Love, was healing, was well being, and the idea that no matter what, you are, I Am, we all are Loved. Our measure of Love is not what is seen in the media, and we are not all here to exact curses, are not here to hex people on behalf of our loved ones, not here to bring calamity to an already calamitous world.

We are the ones who have the ability, the …Magick…. to create for ourselves the calm needed to survive the things that the rest of the world does not understand is crippling us – the chosen obsession with controlling the outer chaos in the world, and the chaos that no one realizes that for a lot of us, because it is always there, is the thing the we use the most in order to create order.

We create order from the Chaotic Now, and even if it is that we cannot stop the Chaos, we are able to make sense of it, are able to give it a voice and a name and we are able, then, to call it our Magick, and Magick that is most akin to the the primal and beautiful violence that is bringing life into this world, even as this world is a dangerous place sometimes. 

We see things in patterns that no one else wants to acknowledge, and we envision the stars as being the stories of old, of things that only the stars have seen, the Truths that the Moon has always tried to make light of through the Big Light of the Sun. We show the world who we are in an eliptical manner. We see the motion of life in the cycle of the tides in relation to the moon. We know the heart of others, the intention of the populace, the reality that is shared but never ever seen as the actual Truth of things. We know reality is called outer energy, but, like all things else that are born into being, it was the seed planted in the Universe that was there first, the birthing of the Light within that only Magickal Women are capable of bringing to the world. 

We know that everything in our lives is given to the life of Spirit, of being those who walk along the split Path of Being Human while also Being a Soul in A Body. And we dare make these very bold, very Powerful statements, live them like they are our second skin, know them like we know our Lover, Are Them because we live by the very words that we speak, write, think, know…Being Magickal is not a belief that is followed, is not about being seen or Known as anything other than Who and What We Are as Beings of Light, Truth, Balance and most of all, Love. 

Truth and Love….

I know the opposite of these two energies very well, and now, even though life is not that great neither easy for me, I Know that I Am The Creative Energy that I Know as these two things …. I Am the Truth of Pisces, in all of Her madness, and all of her femininity, all of her trying to make sense of things that need no explanation – because those things just Are.

Light and Balance. Truth and Love…I know them well. From either side of them each. I studied them as the person who was harmed by other peoplesʻ darknesses, and looked at them through the rose colored lenses worn by too many disappointments which automatically created Balance.

Yet the things that I learned the best, held on to the most, live by as the sword which I wield, undaunted by the things that Truth brings about for myself, even as I Am hard pressed to not have to see those things because I see them as weaknesses….the things that I have learned the most, the things that I have given to others the most and will continue to give to others, no matter who they are…are Truth and Love…because always, one begets the other…for real.

Truth and Love – they happen to be my specific ….super powers…for lack of a better term. Truth and Love are the things that, while growing up, even though I know that I was loved, I was rarely told or shown the Truth. I recall asking others all the time if they were sure of what they were telling me, if they were sure if they believed what they saw or heard and always wanted to know why they believed what my Soul screamed at me was not what they thought it would be, no matter what it was that they wanted it to be. This was an issue that I had to deal with my entire life – the things that people knew better than to believe being also the things that I would question them about the most, because even then I was wanting to get to the bottom of things.

I did not realize that I could deal with the Truth, as long as I knew that that is what it was in its purest sense.

I do not stray from things that I do not understand. I do not stray from the reasons why anyone would not want to deal with the Truths that they do not like, so that they have a moment to see and accept things as they are, even though they might not like things as they are – it is in the acceptance that things happened that allows us to live in our Truths, and in the awareness of our weaknesses that have the same capability of making us Strong beyond our greatest imaginings. With Truth, about our Selves, mostly, while we are very aware of the things that we do not want to accept, we are also aware that we have the very power to change the way that we are affected by things we do not like. It is not that we have to like the Truths of things that have happened, but in our accepting that they have happened.

Yes…it is that big of a deal, because until we can accept the pain, we cannot begin to accept the healing – we will not be healed until we see our place in the madness as being the one person who has the power, the ability, the control of and the POWER TO think another way about anything at all.

I do not know what it is like to ignore something that is blatant and calls for my attention in terms of what it is that has fruitioned for people, not even myself at times, and I do not know what it feels like to hurt someone with a lie, because I cannot lie.

I cannot lie about what someone else thinks about what I have observed.

I cannot reveal things to others for the purpose of hurting who they are.

In fact, if I can make an ugly Truth hurt less, or at least make it easier on myself to tell these specific Truths, I will state it immediately. I do this because I cannot stand it when others are in the dark about things that they need to be aware of. This is doubly so when it is someone I Love and who I do not want them to be blinded by what their ego is telling them.

The ego speaks from our place of fear, of failure, of the things that we would rather not see there as being our creation. Our ego makes it feel like we have no way out, but our Spirit, our Higher Selves show us the mess as a work in progress, as our turning the Chaos into our Specific Magick that is beyond what we, as humans with the penchant to lean towards self sacrifice to the gods of yesterday, want to believe is ours to have, to hold, to create in unison with others.

The Ego, as has been stated, by more than only this scientist, operates from fear, from the pain of the past, and fuels the flames of self doubt. The ego wants us to stay where we think it is safe, but sometimes, that safety is what makes us crippled, and crippled by the fear of loss, the fear of being made to feel ashamed of who we are, when who we each and all are on our own is nothing short of magnificent.

The Ego wants us to believe that who we used to be is who the world loves, and this takes the power away from the Truths that we know, deep in our souls, is unchanged and unfiltered, and when anyone tells us these Truths, via our Egoʻs need to protect itself and use who we are when we are in pain to grow its own self, we do not get the results that we thought would just happen. The ego is what tells us that we do not have to do the work on ourselves, tells us that it is everyone else who is fucked up, far more than we are, because we have taken to that fear, again, and cchosen to believe what the blinded populace sees rather than the Love that is there in front of our faces, and a Love that is so big and so real, that naturally, the Ego would try to hide itself from the blinding glare of the shininess, of the glittery and gorgeous beautifully wrecked Self that, in and of itself, is comprised simply and only of the very most powerful energy in the Universe, and an energy that too many unenlightened people have equated with Love by the body (yeah – SEX) as being the Love from within the Soul.

While it is that the Soul can express itself, does express itself through means of the body, the Truth that is seen when we are in a place of what we feel is disempowerment is a mechanism of the ego when it is desperate for being right rather than being part of a glorious whole called YOURSELF….there is not a Magickal Woman alive who is not aware of these things that I am revealing to the world right this minute, not for the first time in anyoneʻs lives but, at least, for the first time at this part of my own Life.

I have been taught, all on my own, that when the ego tells us things that we want to believe, what we are also doing is finding every reason to ignore a Truth about ourselves.

The Truths about ourselves that we cannot face are the things that a Magickal Woman, if she is also compassionate as well as balanced, have learned over the course of our lives to absorb, to think about, to accept having happened (even though we might hate the things that we know…as long as it is The Truth, we are able, over time, to glean from those things what we are meant to….keep reading….read and learn….)

And that is the thing about Truth, really – when it does not match the ideal of who we are, according to anyone else but ourselves and others who are very dearly truly like us – men included – we get a little upset about things.

In terms of the things that we do – ask one of us, and forget what you have heard in social media groups, or have learned from people who post youtube videos – there is no instruction manual and you will have to learn about us through experience

…and if your experience tells you that women, no matter who they are or how honest we know them to be, are not to be trusted, then you must ask yourself WHY you feel this way about any woman, but in particular any woman who can be considered magickal.

I Am A Magickal Woman.

Anyone who knows me also knows that I say some very strange things, but it is also no secret – I Am typically right about the things that I say.

I do not guess…I Know and for the most part, all Magickal Women Know before we are consciously aware of what it is that we Know, and more, WHY we know. 

Always, what we have been shown by the Goddess is shown in symbols, ones that we relate with the things that we are sensing from the Universal groove thing. We are not the people in your lives who are there to create havoc, and if havoc has been created, and we just happen to be present through it all, know now that we are not there and present because we want to see the mess that we are believed to have made….because we do not make messes – we reveal things so that those things can be seen to far and long before the shit hits the fan.

Sure, there are times when we have been “off” some in our inclinations but for the most part, we are correct in that when the thing that we have intuited, at any time at all, usually happens. We are there and in place in the lives of certain others not only to guide, but to create order from the revelation of things not clearly understood or comprehended via the typical means that those things would be revealed.

Truth – We Know It Well…

Lots of people seem to want to hear the Truth but refuse to accept things that have happened. I will impress upon this the most – that we, as humans, do not know how to differentiate between accepting things as they happened, versus accepting things as our truth.

There is a huge difference – one of them calls upon us to accept that things HAVE HAPPENED, and the other tells us that we have to accept a truth that others believe about us but is not OUR Truth. This is one of the biggest lessons that we, as humans being NEED to learn – to accept that things happened, and no we do not have to like what happened and we can feel however we want to but WE ALL KNOW that we CANNOT UNDO THE PAST, THAT WE CANNOT UNSAY THINGS THAT OTHERS CANNOT UNHEAR. This – Truth – is something that we humans want to avoid because we have not bothered to look at the words that we are using, and neither how those words make us feel.

When it comes from someone like me, and because sometimes people actually research certain things such as being associated with a truly Magickal Woman, we also know the other side of The Truth and we see both sides.

When it comes to the point where we are being put to the task regarding that same truth – we get sort of upset.

The other thing that we are very well aware of is that most people, even as they say (with their mouths) that they would love to know more about us, they do not understand the one thing that they are about to learn, very well, and that is Truth. I am not talking about “The truth” as being told. I am talking about The Truth of Being. 

I speak for all of us, even the ones who are still in the Broom Closet – we know nothing other than what is the starkest of Truths, and we live by it – even when it sucks to have to live through it. We also know that the things that suck are not meant to piss us off even though, as humans, we get good and fuckinʻ angry when what we Know and more – what we are willing to Speak, Write, Think into Being – we must also be willing to live with the outcome that, because we are still Humans Being, we will have created for ourselves through means of what we have been given through those times in our lives. Understand now that the outcome for us is less important than getting to that point. If the outcome is not what we intended, it means that we were not working fully in the energy of Truth. Lots of times, when we think we are doing our own thing for ourselves, we later find that the reason that things did not work the way that we intended, it was because once again – we were loaning our energies to something that someone else is learning. 

Bear in mind the sentence “…if the outcome is not what we intended…” – I Promise you that there are a lot of different types of Magickal Women, and that there are things that we can see, things that we already know, things that others believe themselves to be hiding from us that cannot ever be hidden because we have known those things for quite some time, and over the course of that time it is a guarantee that we have made outright mention of certain things, certain energies, certain patterns that, if we were not paying attention, we would, the very each of us, NOT state, think, write, communicate those things. This is because we are aware that the majority of the things that we, all of us here on Earth, experience is directly correlated to the energy produced by the things that we think about all the time.

There, you folks, is where the Magick is within us all.

It is not wishing, and it is not only as easy as merely speaking it into being -if that were the case, we would all be millionaires (at least) and I promise you that things in the world at present time would not be as shitty feeling as they are right now. If we as an entirety of people would bother to look at things as an entire thing, and if we could just look at the bigger picture of things, and realize that we were not ever apart from but rather and always a part OF ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING HAPPENING IN OUR LIVES, we would see the thing that we have been able to do with our lives, our selves, that it would take a bit of time to materialize it but, it is not the wishing, nor the speaking, nor the poetic leanings and musings of things that creates reality.

It is our belief.


I Am a Pisces. As such, it is my nature to Believe and you can bet your last dime on it when I state If I Am Able, so, too, are You, NOT to eat the ugliness of the things that you, yourself, did not bring to you, but, that are meant to show you your weakness, about anything, so that in the Truth of those things, even as brought to us by others, namely when it is a GOOD TRUTH…such as you being Loved, for real, you can reveal to yourself the Strengths that You have no clue are there and waiting…

…there and waiting for no one else but YOU to realize

No one else can realize these things for any of us…the thing that a Magickal Woman brings to Your Life are the very things that Life is comprised of…

#Light #Balance #Truth #Love

For real….

ATTN: PISCES – Do Your Thing…Believe…

witches photo TGA 2

Yeah it is funny that I would title this writing “Believe” and of course, I do not until this moment realize the photo that I have chosen is of Cher.

I am a huge fan of Cher. Anyone who knows me knows this about me.

Right now there are things that I believe about me that are not that great, that make me cry, that make my heart just ache.

My intuition is serving me with a lot of shattered feelings, a lot of feeling dismembered, feeling like something is afoot, that something is about to become my reality and really, I am not certain that I am ready for it as much as I want to believe that I am.

I am terrified, really.

Of what, I have no clue – it is just there, and scaring the shit out of me. I realize that as the teacher of the Craft that I Am, the thing that I will reteach myself to do is never forget that there is something in this pain, in the length of time that it is taking me to get through this pain is nothing short of me, even though I have asked the world to pray with me, great…but look at the shit that I have had to go through first….all for what, other than the purpose of clearing those ways of being and believing OUT of my mind, and really, it is also that of the populace which is so jaded, so angry, so hurt, so feeling like less than we each and all are for real.

And truly, it DOES get old feeling like we have to stick to the script in terms of all things Spiritual, but at this moment, it might, again, be the New Moon in Scorpio that is making me and making a whole lot of us right this moment believe in the weaknesses, rather than in the strengths, of who we are, of what we are able to do, and most of all, who we love, for real, and why we love them. At this time in our lives, we are finding out who means the most to us. We are finding out what we are made of.

Right this moment, what my human self thinks is that I must be made of tears and pressures in life, because it is all that I know.

And no, it is not what a few would believe it is, because it has everything to do with me and how my mind has this magickal ability to see the entire picture, and right now, the picture has not changed back to what it was…the picture is still what I see the future as being, and yes, everyone who I saw there in my visions are still there, in the same capacity….and I want to trust what I see there.

Right now I cannot see anything but what is right in front of my face. Right now I cannot place myself in those feelings of healing energies because I am still doing what I have to in order to get out of these….feelings of doldrum….which is using the current New Moon Energies. 

When we see that there is no change, at least change that we can see, it is at that time that we cannot see the change in others because we are not able, through the pain we are experiencing as a human, allow our souls to touch that pain. I am in the middle of same said pain as I write this. It feels like the thing that I am having to deal with is taunting me and teasing me and making me crazy on purpose. I want to believe that those who I love will also love me the way that I love them

I was taught this in church by my mom and my grandmother….

I Am A different sort of Minister – I do not know their god. I only know my Goddess, and my Goddess taught me about me….and from her I am learning to let go of the hurt, of the things that no one could see as being part of my own life, namely not me.

We are left, a lot of us who wear a different sort of “color of the cloth,” with the human being who is just very dearly in a lot of pain right now. There are a lot of us who are not trusted because we tend to break through the barriers of closed mindedness, of those who would not bother to tell us that there were things that we would not have wanted to know, things that we would not ever want to know, but know those things, we do.

Most of the time, we Know things long before we tangibly know them, and we are never ever prepared for the pain that is contained within those things – we only know the pain, and we are rarely prepared well enough for it. When we are taught specifically as Women of The Craft, what we are not taught is how to handle our pain, because from it is borne the wisdom of the ages.

Most of us are taught to believe in the things that we cannot see, that we do not hear anywhere else than in the soul as a whisper to the child who is still alive within, the child who, at least in my soul, is a crying mess. She is reaching out to me to mother her, and I Am trying so hard to help her, but, her Angels are keeping me from her….like I would hurt her or something.

They are not protecting her from me, or from you, either.

They are protecting her from being guided to things that damage her soul, are reminding her that there are things that are in the works, that the things that she so desires are almost there, because we all know that what we want also wants us, and is racing to meet us, every one of us, and namely if it is for the good of the whole, rather than only the individual. I am learning that “The Whole” can be many different things, and in my case, “The Whole” is in two places at one time. When I look at it that way, I see that I Am being gifted as the Pisces Who I Am, and made to know that there are some Who Want Me All To Themselves when in their presence.

There are things that tell me that on the other side of that is “The Whole” which is of my literal making, that is still in the learning phases, is still being created, not for me, but, for us all.

…by my hands, and by my Magick, no less, and in either case.

I have had to take the last few hours recreating the words that I Am Able to Believe, that, at the end of the sentence, says the same thing tangibly, but, leave me with a different energy and one that I know I am supposed to guide others to know within themselves.

But for fuckʻs fucking sake….canʻt the lessons come with at least more weed at the end of it???





Shamanism and Psychosis: The Chasm of Difference Between these Two States of Mind…


Western Thought Has Us Believing In Our Broken Selves. What if they have been wrong all this time?

I Am Kahuna.

It is sort of the equivalent of a Shaman.

I do strange things.

I see things that no one else can see.

In lots of ways, it would appear to anyone, even based on my free-spirited manner or Being, that I Am pupule… the Hawaiian word for insane.

I Am Sane.

I promise.

I Am also a Practitioner and Teacher of the Divine Arts, and this means that I see differently, hear differently, know differently and ultimately do things differently.

And I have been like this my whole life.

Throughout my childhood I was warned vehemently about not dabbling with things like The Craft, or with anything that was considered to be “Heebie Jeebie” by my mother, whose understanding, at least from my perspective, of what I do, versus what she believes that I do, versus what she has been told to believe for the entirety of her life that people like me do, is rife with the only thing that anyone who I know was in charge of raising her could use in order to keep her under their control….

Itʻs Called Fear

I look back on my own life, and have come to that place where, at least in my mind and even my soul, I know that this is also how she tried to raise me. When I chose to become Me, or started to realize that I am what I am, I would get grounded, or embarrassed in front of my friends, or simply told that I was wrong. When I was found out to be correct in my “guesses” I was again reprimanded, meaning that I had, at that time and not known yet by me, found out that it was fear that drove my parents, but specifically my mother, to overdo things, at least in my own opinion, in the religion area.

You see, fear will make a person more driven than they can recall ever being in their lives. I have, over these last few months become completely driven towards digging deeper in to the areas of our thoughts and patterns of behavior that are driven by old fear patterns that lead to our feeling like we are running around in circles and constantly chasing our tails for whatever reasonable answer we can have or at least create.

In what is known as “Western Thinking,” we find there is a lot of fear there, and fear of things that we either do not know enough about, or, on the other side of the spectrum, things that we know massive amounts about – one of these areas that human beings are completely afraid of things is in healing, and particularly in healing the mind.

I have always believed that people go through things that ultimately will make things lots clearer for them and will answer their questions all on their own.

Yet, there are times when I have to think further, such as in my own life, when it is that I have been diagnosed with things that until I chose to create A Magickal Life for my family and I, and things that there are a whole LOT of meds for – I chose the way of the Shamanic People I come from.

I chose the Path to Health in the Body via means of Health in the Mind and the Soul.

In an article written in March of 2015, former Sports Illustrated writer Dick Russell titled How A West African Shaman helped my schizophrenic son in a way Western Medicine coulndʻt ,  tells us about his son, Frank, and the young manʻs issues with schizophrenia when he was a kid who was only 17.  His issues became and continued to become more apparent. After Frankʻs parents tried and did everything that they knew to do and in accordance with Western medicine, while they did indeed find some sort of medication that would ease his symptoms, they were not able to get Frank the help that he needed until they happened upon a West African Shaman who made things become a lot easier to deal with, given the Shamanʻs advice.

It was a long time ago when I first thought about this, because people referred to me as “crazy” and “psycho” and a host of other less than wonderful descriptors.

What they were not ever thinking was that maybe I was someone who was in touch with the Divine, and maybe it was not that I was “seeing things” but instead that I saw things that no one else would allow their awareness to engage. This was something that my Auntie Kalei, another renowned Shaman the world over, would impress upon me as a younger me – that some of us just see everything because we choose to see it all, while the rest of us just accept what everyone else sees, regardless if they have admitted to it or not, if they, themselves, believe what they are thinking, or not.


There were plenty of others who taught me, some donʻt even realize it but they have, and all of them have said the same things to me – that there is nothing wrong with me, that I Am fine and good as this me and in no way shape or form am I crazy – but that I Am, instead, gifted with the art of healing through words and music and movement.  

Western medicine has impressed upon the world of medicine that we are all given to a set of symptoms, and in that set of symptoms we have what are the things that are ailing us, and all of those things require some sort of pharmaceutical manner of easing them. And that is the key – Western Medicine has us thinking that we are not entire whole beings but rather a set of systems throughout the body. The one system that we are is also an emotional system. Our emotions are guided by our experiences and how we feel about what we have experienced. We are guided only by the way that we feel and from the way that we feel we are then motivated and inspired to take action.

When we are diagnosed with an ailment, the way that medicine in this part of the world addresses it is through symptoms rather than the entire whole of a person – this is the reason that I feel a whole lot of people remain sick and die from their ailments. It is not because of what ails us, but what we think about what ails us that keeps us sick and tired and taking pill after pill, and most of the time those pills are generally for maintaining the bodyʻs reaction to the side effects caused by the last one. This routine goes on for years and years, and people who are emotionally ailing end up physically ailing because of the things that they are told is needed.

June 5 2014 Living with Aloha Meme

I used to have issues with telling people that I have been diagnosed with Bipolar 1, Dysthymia, Major Depression, Anxiety, and a couple of other things, all having to do with the things that I have experienced over the last two decades and more specifically, what I have been through since April of this year, 2018.

Anymore now, I have nothing that makes me smile wider than to have been in conversation with a person who is engaged by the things that I tell them, engaged by the words I have spoken or written and in all of those words they find the one thing that resonates with them. I have no shame in telling people that I Am emotionally driven as much as I am emotionally traumatized, no issues telling people the reason why or that I Am in therapy.

It is because I have had the opportunity to allow the old thoughts to go away, and have made it my mission in this lifetime to make certain that my most important client who I coach is me and most of all, the one thing that I was taught, was impressed upon me by Auntie Kalei was to do everything from a place of love. That I chose this time to come from a place of Self-Love in that I refuse to allow another personʻs lies or a groupʻs lies become my truth again, namely about me, or my kids, or my partner or my life. I chose this time to not allow that what I believe will be questioned, or that lately, I have become completely fearless in my understanding of things in terms of who I Am, versus who I know I have never been.

When we live our lives through the mechanism and the energy that is fear, people begin to think we are out of our minds. What they are not thinking about is that some of us are born, like Dick Russellʻs son Frank, with issues that do not present themselves until far and long after we were brought into this lifetime.

Then there are the others of us, the ones who have, throughout our lives, been through a whole lot of heartache, a whole lot of calamity, and a whole lot of being someone who seems to have the right guesses, seems to have things dearly locked into a manner that we have a certain way of doing things. We have to – our minds will not allow that we can go past or aside of the thing that we know is bothering us at any given time. We have been told who we are, wore those things as though they belonged to us and through trial and error we find out who we are not.

When we find out who we are not, we are not thinking that who we are is in creation mode, and that we are not really “crazy” but that for all of our lives we have been told, again and again, through others, through the media, through every possible means, that somehow, we are “insane” and that we need pills and we ought to see a shrink or that we need to be locked up in the wacko basket.

The reality is that what you are is nothing short of Magickal , but, for real. You hold within you all of the secrets of the Universe. You are galactic, are Universal, and all this time you have been called insane, crazy, not right in the mind. It was not ever that your doctors knew better than you did, but that everyone else in your life is who was giving the world what is their experience internally with who you are. Rarely do people who have gone through severe emotional trauma know, for real, what it is that we are.

What we are is not crazy, not psychotic, not sick in the head.

We are instead those who have been entrusted by the Aether to be here to tell everyone else that they are okay, that they are Magickal and that all they need to know is how to make it all work for you.

Let Frank Russell tell you through his father and his mother, who also wrote about Frankʻs meeting with a West African Shaman….

Let Frank be your reminder that you have every reason to believe that you are anything but insane, and that you have no reason to bother with those damning things that no one who is not you can possibly know about





The Inherent Power of Words

June 5 2014 Living with Aloha Meme

Words are very Powerful.

Anyone who does what I Do in this world knows very dearly just how inherently powerful all words are. We do not know their power until they are stated and create a different energy for those who we are trying to convey a message.

At this time, the collective who I refer to as being called #AllUsGuys has begun to make the world aware of the fact that our word Aloha – IT IS NOT FOR SALE!  

And I do not want to get into that right now. What I do want to teach you about today is the inherent power within the words that we think, speak, hear…words are very powerful. They are the things that make up our thoughts and we all know – Thoughts are Things.

Thoughts, as well, have words in them, and all those words tend to vibrate at their own special frequency where the each of us is concerned. We each have a level of vibratory energy that either draws what we want to our lives, repels what we think we do not deserve, makes the things that make us hurt not be in our faces or in our lives. The bottom line is that as important as numbers are, so, too, are the words in our lives.

The Words in Our Lives

Without words, we have no means for communication. Even sign language uses words in symbols created by the hands – words are everywhere, and words are very powerful.

I teach Hula as Medicine to other Abuse Survivors. Hula has always been the iconic dance that the world knows as using our hands to tell the story of the message in the song being danced.

The words in our lives make us know who we are to others. The words in our lives make us know them. The words in our lives are the things that make it so that we can understand one another, and the words in our lives, when they are used to control, manipulate or harm are the evidence of the power inherent in them. We are able to make others lives beautiful or the opposite of beautiful. We are able to bring into being the things that we want in our lives or donʻt want in our lives.

Through our words, we are able to direct life, and right now, there is a word that is a most important one to people who I share much with – Ka Poeʻ O Ka Wai…The People of The Water, who are also and simultaneously Ka Poʻe Aloha….The Aloha People.

Right Now

Right now, as a collective of Aloha Souls, we can gather our energies and we can go one way or the other – we can fight like hell and strike at the soul of others, or, we can Be, In Love, in #Aloha, and we can do all that we can, NOT to get even, but more, to resolve.

Words have a magickal ability to make us feel great, or lousy, to make us happy or sad, angry or be filled with laughter. NO matter what anyone wants to tell us, the reason why we who work in the weird tend to be wordy about things is because we know their power and we also know that the reason why they are so powerful is because all of us, as human beings, has a past, and all of us in the past were likened to use words to satisfy our ego needs.

When we grow into the …Magickal People…we are meant to Be, and when we adopt an attitude of knowing that our words carry magick and meaning and that those very words can heal or harm is when we realize, too, what our power is all about.

All of it is contained in the words that we choose to use, in whatever way we will and without our really thinking about what we are telling other people, not just through their actuality and meaning, but, also through the things that we do not realize we are using, such as body language, tone of voice, pitch, context- it all hits us whichever way it is going to and most of the time, we use our words to do as I have already stated and that is to satisfy the egoʻs need to feel like it is some kind of big frikkinʻ deal.

It is, but, it is not the part that matters the most, namely when you are Shaman, which I Am.

And letʻs look at a very good example of the use of words…and I will illustrate it with the one phrase that a whole lot of people use but not the way that they ought to, because in order to Be anything, you have to believe what you are saying. Most people will tell themselves the things that they want to hear but really, they need to say those things to themselves by first and when a person makes that statement, create that statement to be a Believable Thought.

“I Am” statements and Believable Thoughts

I have been asked plenty of times why it is that with all of the challenges that I have faced and that I still face, how it is that I Am Able to create Believable Thoughts.

We believe that these two little words somehow are easy to turn into a statement that we will believe and that is good about ourselves. Most of the time, we are likened to bullshitting ourselves and talking ourselves into things. When an I Am statement is a Believable Thought it makes all of the difference in the world.

Throughout our lives we are told who we are to others, and lots of times who we are according to them is a lacking Being. I Promise you that if you lack THINGS – ACTUAL THINGS – and this is what you want to believe is telling other people the story of who you are, then you are not telling the whole story.

I can only speak for myself when I say that it would be nice to have my car, and it would be nice to have a great big beautiful house, but, those things do not comprise who I Am. No …thing…can do that.

I can love the things in my life because they might carry a beautiful memory, but, the  memory is not contained in the thing…the word “carry” is not the same as “contained” and lots of time we Humans do not think about the difference in words or how that difference can make a difference int he energetic vibration that is always within us and is also known as our energy self.

It is through our energy selves that we are able to sense the Truth of Who We Are. When we are found to see what else someone else thinks or believes, even if it is just about something or someone who we feel strongly about, good or other than good, it is that thing that I refer to as being your energy signature that is particular only to you that is conveying the actual energy from the words that you are speaking or hearing, that you are defining according to your own intelligence and your own thoughts about words and how they will give you a good energy or a not so great feeling one. Either way, it is not anything outside of you that is directing you, at least not for real, but is, instead, the way that you are feeling the way that something that you have heard, namely when it is about who you are according to anyone else.

When someone says something to us, it either raises our vibration or lowers it. We can take this energy and use it to our advantage. The thing about hearing negative things is that we have to learn to question who we are right in that moment, not to that other person but to our very selves. We cannot bother with allowing, any further, the things in our lives to matter to us in terms of how those things create our feelings and our energy, but, instead, how we feel about those things and what they symbolize for us.

For instance, when I read things that are not the truth about me, of course at first I am going to be hurt but, I am NOT going to allow what others hold as an opinion about me or anything that has to do with me be the thing that guides who I Am. Who I Am is not anyone elseʻs business and no, they do not have the right to impose or impress upon us the belief that, if who we are to them is not the shining example of who we are to perhaps a lot of other people, then we know that whatever it is that they want to believe is not our truth, thereby making it only something that the other person is choosing to believe.

We do not have to make it our truth, and I Am statements are the thing that no one thinks work but if a person learns their own interpretation of the words that they use in their lives to also interpret the energies of their own lives, even and including when it comes to those interpretations that others hold, we can safely and effectively create our own I Am Statements.

An I Am Statement is simply a statement about ourselves created by us. It is our claiming the good, and choosing to work with the “bad” to check and see if what we are thinking about ourselves is the truth of us. The more that we create Good I Am Statements that are both believable and true about us, the more that we will notice that not only is our life becoming everything we want it to Be and need it to Be, it is also becoming far more than we thought it would be.

When we believe the words that we speak hold the power to make us become who we are for real, and we are willing and ready to make certain that we are brave enough to step into the uncertainty of who we do not believe ourselves to Be, even when it doesnʻt feel quite right, we know that we can change our words to make them feel lots better.

This is the beauty and the power of words. They have the ability to make us think in ways that we never thought we could, and we are able to create a beautiful life through them. just have to Believe that this is the Truth.

The way to do that is to realize that the power of our words are not meant just to give others this feeling of good or bad energy, but mostly, for ourselves.

When I Am told that I Am a good soul, or when my other half tells me that to him I Am Beautiful, I want to believe those things, so, instead of questioning Him, I question me.

I ask myself why, if he believes it, do I not…if it is the truth to him, it is also my truth BY him, because as with all other things that feel right versus the things that we fight against and that feel “wrong” NOT ONE OF US ought to question the beautiful things that for someone else may well be the truth.

When my kids tell me that I Am awesome, I am not going to question it, and I Am going to continue to do the things that cause them to see some sort of …awesomeness…that is their mother and is their interpretation of that word “awesome.”

When my soul family tells me that I am a good soul, I cannot do anything other than believe them because on that end, I actually Am aware that I Am a Good Soul. I Am That. I Am. It is believable and not because someone else told me so, but because it is what I Am That I created for my life, so that those who I share my life with and who are also Good Souls can know who they are to themselves through the mirror that I Am hopeful that I Am to Them.

Think about all of the great things that people have told you about you, and then think about how you think about yourself after the fact. Think about the way that you argue with yourself about what those others say about you and how it is that you are who is making those thoughts hard to believe in that you are also the one who holds the power to go the other way with it, and believe the good that you hear out of them. Think about every single time you fought like hell with someone else about who you are not and how it was that when you fought over it, they did not change their thought about you.

And what you might have forgotten then, too, is likely what you may well still not think about now, which is that you do not ever have to believe the ugly things that other people hold as their opinion of you. Opinions, it is stated, “are like assholes” in that everyone has one. You held the power all those times and you still hold the power now to believe their shitty opinion of you (that is actually how they feel about themselves because you reflect something about themselves that they do not like) or, to remember who you are for real.

Who you are is an amazing Soul whose life is being created, is well held within the hands that care about it the very most….Yours.

I Promise.





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The things we learned (but donʻt know yet that we learned)


The things that we learn from our experiences are the things that also, we teach…

This is not news to anyone, the fact that the things that we learn, that we do not know we are learning, that we go through and that feel like our lives have turned on us are the things that, as these people who help others learn to heal their lives, we also will teach.

Right now, I am learning the fine art of letting go, am relearning and honing my own prowess with Hoʻoponopono healing, and am pretty much seeing in all of it more of who, and more importantly, what, I Am.

What I was reminded of, throughout these last three months, is that when there are things that allow someone elseʻs ego to thrive, and when it feels like your soul is in need of rest, that it is time, right in that moment, to assess the reason WHY we hang on to things, and more, people, even when they make us feel like we are the worst person on the planet. It feels worse, this feeling, when you know and are very dearly aware of the opposite being your own personal Truth.

A very short time ago…perhaps two weeks at the most….there were some who we share the air with, some who I share DNA with, who tried very dearly to make it my truth – that I am somehow “bad,” because they want it to be THEIR truth, that I Am someone whose intent is anything but pure.

There is nothing that can come between our sense of our own purity of thought, which simply means that in y case, when I, specifically, think a thought, it is ABSOLUTELY OF THE UTMOST PURENESS OF INTENT, because the last thing that anyone who teaches these Divine things wants is for those learners to both learn and apply what they have learned to be something whose outcome is not great or possibly even detrimental to them. We are meant to give others understanding from an organic point of view and one that is not spoiled by the Egoʻs intention of protecting through fear rather than through truth. We want to be able to be everything that we can be to others but always we forget about our own selves. The thing that we do not understand is that the learning comes from what it is that we do not understand.

The things that we do not understand are the things that make us hurt for what seems like no reason or not a good enough reason. The things that hurt for what seems like not good enough of a reason are usually the things that we have, without knowing, allowed to control important parts of who we are and by that manner, controls, also, parts of our lives that we thought we were able to handle and then later found out that there were other things inside of that one thing that we were not aware of.

This is where our greatest level of learning comes from – those things and events that we just cannot understand.

Right now, and since April, I have been going through this very thing – the misunderstanding of how others relate to who they THINK we are versus who we are for real. Who we are for real, sometimes, we are not aware of and when that happens, we are led to that place within us where those parts of us that we are not aware of are brought to the surface of things so that they can be utilized or, if it applies, worked through so that those things that would require that attention from us and that hurts us  can be let go of.

It is the letting go of things, even when we are not aware that they exist – this is the hard part for us, because we are not taught how to let go. We are only taught to cling tightly to things, even if it means that we end up losing out on things that we do not realize are in manifest. We are taught to be cautious, and some of us are to the extreme with it. We hang tight to things that strangle our growth and inside of that strangled energy is the seed that we need for our own growth.

Why we fear letting go

I have a theory, and that is that human beings will hang on to things, even things that scare or hurt us, because those things are familiar and we know all about things being familiar to us – those things that are familiar breed contempt. What this means is that once we become too familiar with something or someone, because we are comfortable with that energy, our level of respect for them or that one thing or activity dips. We become complacent in the things that we are aware of and that we can (I guess) get away with when it comes to others and what it is that they need us for in those moments they need us.

One day, inevitably, whatever it is that we have grown comfortable with, like all else, changes. It could be anything that this happens with but, the one thing that is for certain is that like all of life, it all changes, it all grows and the “thing” that is within it that has the ability to change is the human element – our selves. Usually, we think that there is nothing essentially “out of place” with us. Then someone else comes and tells us otherwise, even, perhaps, without outright stating a thing to us that we are in need of change, badly, because the things that we are not changing are doing us no favors…and everyone within our sphere of awareness is changing. This is part of why some of us feel like we are playing a game of catch-up…because we think we have to catch up when really, we just need to change course.

It is not that we are not going to end up where we are supposed to end up. It means that somewhere along the way to wherever that is, we have a few things to learn, mostly about ourselves. We are not going to be effective for or to those who are meant to be with us in terms of their needing any kind of healing if we are not aware of where we need to grow.

What else we are not taught about change is that when we choose to fear the change instead of going through it (which is automatically make it so that those changes that we feared will go right into play) we are also choosing to stay stagnant. When we stay stagnant on some level we are choosing to rot in the choice of remaining the same as we were and preferring to live in that past experience of excellence rather than shedding those parts of our selves that are, at this point in our lives, no longer useful – including those formerly excellent selves we loved so much.

We do not think that way at all, that perhaps who we used to be and who was so so so successful in the past –we do not realize that right now, that person is not needed and if they were needed, we would BE that person still, and not the one who is learning to let go of that person so that we can become even better and more able to help others heal themselves for themselves.

No one teaches us to be brave and become who we are meant to be.

That is what I am here for – to teach others how to become their best selves.  I cannot imagine being the me who I was just about ten years ago.

When I go back that far, I realize that at that time I was in the middle of a huge huge loss. I was being brought back home to Los Angeles, to the part of life that needed me the most, that still needs me but needs me to be my best self as a Life Coach because right now, as it stands, there are a lot of people who are in the middle of their lives, in the middle of choices that they do not realize need to be made different otherwise the things that we do not understand that happen almost religiously are the things that repeat themselves because THOSE ARE THE THINGS AND THE HABITS AND THE WAYS OF BEING THAT ARE NO LONGER USEFUL IN THIS PART OF OUR COLLECTIVE BEINGNESS.

The Things and The Habits and The Ways of Being that are no longer Useful

When I bring up these things – the things that are no longer useful – I get raised eyebrows, mostly from people who are either twenty years my junior, or the other way, twenty years my senior. Because I Am that middle ground, I tend to see things that most folks donʻt, with one of those things being that I have no use for doing things, having things, being part of anything that is going to stall growth somehow. I cannot, much as the Universe also cannot, tolerate any sort of anything -not energy, not actual tangible things, not thoughts about things…not one thing…that allows the pain from the past to interrupt the growth that is needed for anyoneʻs future. This is the basis for my coaching practice, and the thing which I ask, always, once it is that we are past the idea that what we used to know and who we used to be will still have a good effect on our lives right now.

The best example that I have to give is the way that lately, I have been thought of by a few of my relatives. There are things going on right now that ought to not be going on in my life, even though I know that if they were not happening, I would not be able to see what the lesson for me is.

The lesson for me is to be aware of people, no matter who they are, trying to make others think what these certain others think about me. Even if they do not, the thought they thought at the time that it was shown to me was their Truth right in that moment. This means that more often than not, and based on the way that I was treated by these people in the past, that thought is their truth about me. It doesnʻt have to be all of their truth, but it is part of THEIR truth, but is not mine.

This means, too, that in me, there is something that mirrors back to anyone what is the actual truth of themselves and that I might just be the right mirror for that reflection of who they are to bounce off of.

While this is all fine and good and needed, what is NOT needed, at least by a lot of us, is for us to believe these ugly things, for us to think in the manner that we are what they want us to be, rather than our being who we are for real. Who any one of us is for real is up to us to create. When we are not being authentic it is felt at the very core level within us. This is when we are open and vulnerable to things that we might not be aware of and that might be alive and well and on display for the world to see. When we are not being true to our own selves, the entire world knows…that is, BUT us.

The thing that I learned about myself are things that I knew but are things that I kept hidden in the deepest parts of my Soul. They are the things that I never wanted anyone to know about, and things that, for a long time, have scared me and for no other reason than that they are part of my empowerment. I only came upon this one thing recently, that I am far more powerful than I knew I was, than I know that I Am. I am all that I want to be, even if lots of that person is still in build mode. THIS IS THE TRUTH ABOUT US ALL – THAT WE ARE POWERFUL CREATORS and that we are able to create and to live our best lives and more, are able to teach others, through our past experiences, to help others utilize theirs like we use ours.

It doesnʻt matter, and it never matters, as long as any one of us remembers that who we are is not to be kept away and silent. Who we are matters in that there are others on this planet who need to know, even if we never cross paths in terms of what we were sent here to do.

The bottom line is that we know who we are, and when we are learning something, we forget about who we are. Maybe not all of us, but, for the most part, we forget about our mission when we are being human about things, and we forget about the idea that we are here and breathing for a purpose, and that purpose is learning and healing our lives through that learning. What else we are here for is to make certain that what we learn has the ability to be taught. 

The way that we teach is up to ourselves, and the way that we learn is up to life, itself. The way that we give who we are the chance that we need to become is through practicing not being who we are no longer. Who we are no longer is our reference point for where we have been and what we have learned and the way that we do things is up to us to create.

The world in terms of healing and being who we are depends on what we learn and thrives on how well it is accepted by those whose lives we touch, those whose lives we have a part of in terms of teaching others how best to heal themselves. Our healing is not ours alone, but that of the greater, grander universe at large, and is dependent upon our being able to get through things and live to tell others how we did that much.

If we are to be of any good, kind service to others, then we need to learn how to deal with those others, even when they bring us hurt and harm and when they tell us who we are to them in those moments when we do not realize that on some level, we are not even being who we are, for real.

What the pain teaches is our own purity, our own level of justice and our level of fairness and forgiveness. We have to learn, as well, to forgive ourselves for all of the times that we thought the worst of who we are, and all those times that we allowed ourselves to believe what we were not was who we would always be. We are not what others want us to be, especially when those others are seeing only who they thought we were, perhaps many years ago, when who we were at that time mattered more than who we did not know that we would become.

There is no way that, in all of my years in this body, through all of these things that brought to me the things that I now use as part of my practices in this world, to teach other women and men how to heal their lives from the abuses that no one told them were abuses – I use those hurts, and those things that left splinters in my psyche and those ways of being that I did not know I was displaying, to teach other people in soul pain how to quench the fires that they do not know they have allowed to rage at the behest of the soul within the people who they want to trust and want to keep in their lives but, as they are, cannot.

It is not that we cannot keep them in our lives, but that for the most part, they have caused themselves to no longer fit there, neatly like they one time did.

This is the hard part of learning that much – that the teachers who we loved so much, trusted so much, and gave so much of who we used to be to are now those who, through our own actions and through the machinations of our higher selves, are now our students in life. They are now learning what we were taught by them, and they are now giving themselves, we hope, that second look at who they are not so that through the energies of that much, they will be able to create who they have always seen themselves as being for real.

So it pays, right now, NOT to curse their existence, but, to broaden the thought that they have given you of you by them, and see there what it is that they are learning…no…not about you….but about their very tortured selves.

What,in your life, are you hurting from right now that seems like an impossible thing to heal?

Find that out, then get in touch with me….letʻs meet you for the first time – this you who you need to meet and the One who you LOVE and donʻt know very well…that person named YOU.

Just gotta see things not as they are, because then you will have everything totally as it is….I know you will understand what that means the moment that you need to.

Until then….know that you are loved by the Grand Universe, by the heavens and of course, by Me…..