Everything Old (is new again…but isn’t)


Music. It elicits emotions within us that bring us back to a time in our lives that things seemed much better. It isn’t that things were much better, but that as time passes we begin to understand things. It only seems like things old are new again, but they aren’t…

It is not news that more than lots else, I love music. It is supposed to be this way, because I am a dancer. There is no music that I cannot choreograph any number to, specifically Hula, and yes, even Hula (of the Kahiko sort) to, of all things, Heavy Metal music. When you have that ability to create from your own measure of being, the things that make your heart and soul sing and dance, you know that you have something that is more valuable than gold.

Having gold is nice, but having the talent and drive to create the gold is much nicer (and way, way awesome)

I will get to my point regarding this part that tells you, like lots of other people tell you that in this lifetime, it is a must that we each and all do what we are placed here to do – that one thing that we do best.

In my world and as a worker in the light, it is communicating with others on every level, through whatever means possible, yes, including hula, because Hula is the one thing, the one dance, that the dancer tells the story of the song through the dance, telling the story with the hands.

Hula has, just like working with DV Survivors has become, always been that thing that I have called my bread and butter. It was the first paying job I had (and loved), to dance in a show in front of an audience. It was the one thing that always, even to this day, I still do, not only for pay, but for the pureness of the Aloha that I receive from the Universe when I am dancing, regardless if my audience is a crowd of people, or the full moon and stars every four weeks.

It is my gold, and is so because of many different reasons.

Yet, not one of those reasons is because I get paid to do it.

I get paid for it in more than only tangible ways. I have always loved this dance, and it has always been my very closest friend, the very Medicine that I have always administered to my ailing heart and soul throughout the years. I used to do it for the attention, the glory, the right to say that I could do it very well and that I am going to do it my way and no one in their right mind was going to tell me otherwise.

That was then (old reason) and this is now (new reason) (medicine for the soul).

While Hula and its very most basic forms have not changed, what has changed is the medium through which this particular art form has been administered, meaning that it is not the dance, but rather the teacher, like the Maestro with his music, which has evolved, just like the many reasons for each dancer and each musician will prove to us, again and again, how true this one thing is.

Hula…and how it proves that everything that is “old” to us has become essentially “new”

This article is not about how much I love this dance, but about, instead, how it is the oldest thing in my life that is not me and, as well, how those who work in the weird sometimes miss the mark on the things that we do with and for those who come to us for our help or our teachings.

In terms of Hula and the 42 years that I have danced, the one thing that is the truth is that indeed, the dance of my people is not something new, not something that has not been lampooned and turned into what it is not by Hollywood over the decades. The ancients revered dance and music, because, just like these modern times will show, so, too, does the rest of the race of humans on the planet.

Music and dance are humanity’s icons for remembering who we each and all are, all the way down to the very bones of our souls.

Hawai’ians…most of us have old, ancient souls, like all peoples of indigenous origin have. We know things that lots of other people do not know. In my line of work, it works out in the most awesome way that even I, as a sometimes frivolous-in-the-imagination Pisces could manage to think was possible.

Turning Hula into more than what it used to only be for me, at least,  makes me a much better Shaman, better, more attuned to the Universe in terms of my place in this lifetime as Kahuna Wahine.

In these modern times we find that lots of people have interest in my culture and our ways. The truth is that our culture and our ways are not fads and neither is it anything new in terms of people wanting to know more about the mystical things in ancient Hawai’ian culture.

Hula is part of that mystical thing about us, part of our charm, and is way, way more than only what lots of people want to believe – that it is a hula girl’s means for getting men to pay attention to her…really? (Ummm…NOT…it is not that way at all, so I am speaking on behalf of ALL of who dance this dance and love it as much as I do to PLEASE STOP THINKING THAT WAY ‘CAUSE IT IS NOT THE TRUTH…thank you…this has been a public service announcement from the Universe…!)

It is the very oldest thing about us that, as time rolls on by, even as the dance itself does not change, those of us who love it, perform it, teach it, embrace it will never not see it as the one constant in our lives, because that is just how we Kanaka roll with it.

It does not change, but we do, and that is the way that this one thing evolves, much like any other ancient tradition can and will change as long as the light worker utilizing it embraces that change as well.

If I can embrace it, specifically when talking in terms of this one dance, that means that anyone can embrace the weirdness of their own indigenous means and turn it into the most ancient new thing in their lives.


There are people who, just like me, have turned the world of iconic things in the collective lives of indigenous peoples on its head.

Where I thought I might shock the hell out of people by creating numbers to songs like Marilyn Manson’s “The Beautiful People,” on the other side of that is how I made what was old, new again, at least in terms of having a good example to provide for you all.

Hula. It is one of those things that, like music, the artist has their own specific energy about them when they create what they will create with their medium.

In my case, I am the medium (in more ways than one), the music is the catalyst which shares space within me with the reason why I dance. These are all the very most basic ingredients in terms of creating things, namely things old into things new.

Where it was that at one time I would choreograph only to Hawai’ian music, because I teach it as medicine to people who are NOT Hawai’ian, I have had to adapt newer styles of music that is NOT Hawai’ian, tunes from Marilyn Manson, and in the case of DV Survivors and Medicine Dance Hula, Christina Aguilera’s rendition of “Beautiful.”

We find, through this example, that indeed, everything old may well become new again, even as that which is ancient remains ancient.

Dancers have choreographed their numbers in this manner for many generations, and turning my own Hulas into art, and then eventually into medicine, gives you a good example of how it is that things evolve over time.

At one time Hula was a thing that I did to show off because no one else in my social group who wasn’t related to me knew how to do it.

Then it became sort of an education for me and in teaching in my own halau when I helped my cousin’s wife for a couple of years with the creation and building up of her halau.

From there, and because I had lived so far away from where I am now, I created and built my own halau, because of what I had learned in my time with my cousin’s old lady.

When my own halau was no longer in existence, it saddened me because until that point, I only thought in terms of that halau being what defined me. It was not until I was actually forced by my own hand, so that I could save my own life instead of trying to save someone who cannot be saved, that it dawned on me that using it as medicine was what it needed and is what it has become outside of it still being entertainment.

As I have already stated – Hula is an ancient art. It involves LOTS of ritual type stuff, such as preparing the plants that are needed that hula performers wear when we perform, and blessing the building, the halau, in which we will teach or perform or give homage and aloha to the ‘Aumakua.

The ritualistic type stuff that we do when gathering those things is what remains the same, even as the dance, which is older than God, literally, evolves and becomes what it becomes to whoever it becomes whatever it becomes for. (…haha…did you get all of that?)

It is just like music. Music is also another thing that can be thought of as both ancient as well as life saving, because so many people depend on it as a means by which they allow their soul to fly out into the Universe, making it so that the entirety of the heavens has been able to hear the many voices in unison singing to the glory that is the Spirit within each and every one of us.

Music, like ritual dance, has been a part of humanity from the dawn of man. It is something that we have never not had at our disposal and to our benefit. Music and dance have gone hand in hand together like peas and carrots (thank you Forrest, Forrest Gump). It makes a whole lot of sense that the two things that mankind has either vilified or glorified are also the two very things that EVERY human on this planet has in common – the ability which some have to belt out a tune, while the ability that others like myself have to stay in time with the music through our dance.

Music lifts the soul to heights that the body cannot imagine. Dance gives the body the expression of that music, that tone, those sounds.

When the two come together and give the physical rendition of the soul’s release through sound and movement, what is being done and hopefully witnessed is as ancient as the Universe itself. 

That the music is accompanied by newer instruments like electric guitars, keyboards, computerized and digital harmonics and the like, is one thing, but that sound and movement are as old as everything is is what makes it one of the most ancient things known to mankind, as is ANY KIND of dance, from ANY KIND of community of humans, from anywhere on the planet.

That I can choreograph a hula to virtually ANY style or genre of music is one thing, but that I know that I am what makes this ancient art form become medicine, which, too, is very ancient, is completely another, way way cooler thing to know.

Light workers should invest some of their valuable time into researching their own ancient roots.

I say so because that really is where each and every one of us who is a worker in the light actually get our gifts from, our sixth sense – from the ‘Aumakua who came before us.

It is too easy for us all to adopt what is anyone else’s methods of teaching, anyone else’s methods of healing, and anyone else’s ways of dealing with and working through Spirit. The hard work that sets us each apart from those who do not create their own means of understanding, let alone creating understanding in others is shown in how successful we are in terms of being effective in our workings that we do with others, regardless if we are paid by means of cash or barter or energy that is light and needed.

If we can reach back into our own ancient pasts, to those places where we each originated from in an indigenous manner, we will find out that when we apply those things after we have turned them into whatever it is that they will not only become for us but also for those with whom we work so closely, we will see there that we have created not only another means by which to help others heal themselves, but mostly, we will have a unique tool that can only be utilized by us as it was created, through that which was handed down to us, by us and with our particular energy signature.

Just like no one’s music sounds like Zeppelin’s and never will, that which we recreate and is ancient becomes part of who we are and what we do.

So, study your own culture’s ancient ways, folks…it won’t hurt and will give you something that no one else has.

Aloha !
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In a Circular Pattern



If we pay close attention, we will find that our lives and everything in them happen in a circular pattern.

Light workers, for the most part, know that life moves in patterns. This is because everything in life is circular. Think in terms of a natal birth chart. It is a circle. Think about everything that has happened in your own life to this point, and think, too, about how sometimes things happen that also happened to happen about twenty years ago, and you will have the perfect thing to look at when trying hard to envision what will come next in your life.

This is the reason, too, why, when I am teaching new Spirit students about all these things that not a lot of people seem to understand, that I ask them to please study, at least, their own natal chart. If you can at least read yours, with a minimum of common sense and a tiny bit of how it is the natal chart wheel is meant to work and to teach anyone at all, you can also and eventually one day read the patterns in a person’s life.

Of course, when reading the chart, one must remember that what you are reading there is NOT absolute, and is not absolute because of that thing called free will. (And even THAT can be found in a person’s natal chart – where it is that a person is willful, freely, even)

Karma also has a role in the circular pattern of life.

If we can look at a Natal Chart and see where it is that we will have difficult aspects (called oppositions and squares) and where it is that we will have ease (trines, sextiles and conjunctions, for the most part and in a VERY VERY basic energy in this writing), we can also see there the pattern in which a client’s life is going to go.

Yearly, there is a thing called “progression” and what that means, loosely, is that every year, even as you will always be the person who your actual birth chart says you are (and even as the events which could happen are seen there), each and every year of our lives we are given the chance to add “someone else” to who we are in that every year, even though our birth date never changes, the position of the planets in both the sky and in our natal charts move from house to house and sign to sign.

For example, while I will always be a Pisces, this year, I believe I have shades of Aries, or perhaps Taurus, in my sun, because that is what sign the planets have progressed, or moved, to. Where typically we expect Pisces to be a shy little guppy, (yeah right) when adding the fiery energy of Aries or the stable energy of Taurus to it, it doesn’t change the fish from being a fish. It adds elements of that other sign to it.

You can tell what kind of year a person will have based on not only this, but also the placements of other heavenly bodies in their chart. If you can read that much into a person’s chart, you can read a lot more there, too.

What this means

What this means is that if you can read and even in a limited manner understand just a tiny little bit about what it is that you are looking at, and you already know what each sign is all about, each planet, each house, each little thing in your own chart, you will be able to also see where it is that you will have difficulty to learn from, reward and ease to feel awesome about, who it is (or what kind of person or people) will return to your life, will come into your life, will bless or not bless your life.

What this gives any worker in the light is an advantage, not only for his or herself, but for their client.

If you can read the chart in a basic manner, and you know what each thing mentioned in that last long paragraph is about and you can at least understand the energy of each of those things, you can pretty well, using the thing that I call “The Twenty Year Theory,” you can also see the pattern of a person’s life, just from understanding in your own way what it is that is contained in someone’s natal chart.

One does not need to have more than just a basic understanding of astrology to also be able to help anyone know what is happening next, or actually, what the next theme they will be addressing in their lives is all about.

For Instance

I say a whole lot about a person who calls me ‘The Pineapple.” It was about 21 years ago now that we first met. I recall vividly that I told that person, 21 years ago, that we were not done with each other and that eventually, we would be in one another’s lives again. Of course, at that time, I had no idea what I was saying. The only thing that I knew was that I was right – we would meet again, and when we did, it would be something big, enlightening and really, really awesome.

And again…I was right.

Fast forward to last year, when my reading that I did not know I did way back then came to pass, and I was, again, correct. Imagine my surprise when I looked at both charts and realized that not only was I right, but what I saw there told me that this other person and I were meant to go through all of everything that we each went through apart and away from one another, all so that at this time, we could reunite so as to see to our shared purpose and our shared mission in this lifetime.

If we all would step back and look at the patterns in each of our lives, we would know what to do, even though we do not really even know exactly what is going to happen to us or for us in the Now.

The one thing that too many of us who are workers in the light are not really thinking about is that in order for us to know what we are talking about, being gifted all on its own is truly not enough for us to do our work effectively. It takes a lot of practice, a lot of trial and error and a lot of study. Yet, there are a lot of other teachers on this planet who do not see to it that their charges are at least (yes…at least) and in the most basic manner, able to read a natal chart.

I will write about this – the natal chart – a lot, so if you are a student of mine or really anyone else’s, know now that it is best for you to know how to read a chart because you cannot read anyone’s patterns effectively if you are not aware of the themes of their lives, from year to year, and if you are not willing to create your own understanding of what you are looking at.

Like any other discipline which requires a certain level of education, “the weirdness” also requires a whole lot of discipline, a whole lot of self-paced study, a whole, WHOLE lot of trial and error, if for nothing else, then to just create one’s own method of reading a chart.

I will, again, write about the importance of knowing at least one divination practice more in theory than in actual practice, because when you are a worker in the weirdness, it is of tantamount importance to at least know the terminology of it all, no matter the discipline, neither the art.

And really, learning to detect the patterns in our own lives is the first, best practice to practice, and it is because we are who have lived our own lives to this point, and we are, once we “get it” in terms of knowing what we are looking at, the very ones who will do this same thing for other people. It is like you learning you, so that you can go out into the world and teach people how to learn themselves so that they can, in turn, through their own awareness, learn about the people and the situations in their own lives.

If you know a little bit, just a tiny little bit even, about all of these things that might seem to be a little bit on the overwhelming side, might be written in all of that strange and ethereal language, you will very surely also be able to adapt that which you learn in every area of your own professional life.

Without the ability to understand these strange things that we who professionally walk the path of the light worker, you who are still brand new at all of this will not be able to focus your gifts on the areas of life that you specialize in, even as you might not well know what areas those are as of yet. That is what learning one’s own patterns is all about – so that you are not flying blindly,with or without a broomstick (yeah I went there…deal with it).

Study patterns, folks, starting with your very own. You will find the keys to a whole LOT of the mysteries of your own life, and eventually, will be able to explain these same mysteries which visit the lives of those we each and all serve…

Aloha !

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The Body Does Not Lie – Some words about energy and ailments

Emotions and Health TGA

Healers are thought to not suffer from ailments that all human beings are prone to have as a reality in our lives. We are not different from the rest of the human beings on the planet.

We can and do get sick.

Emotions. They are the driving energy behind just about everything and anything that we will do in this lifetime.

At this time, I find that my emotional state has brought to me my best, most optimal health state that I recall ever having had. It was not always like this, though. For the majority of my lifetime I have had well meaning relatives constantly “in my ears”  about how it is that on both sides of my bloodlines, there are a LOT of health issues.

When I chose to take my place in this lifetime and on this planet as the me that I am now, I did not know at that time, even as both Noreen and Lanakila told me it would be, that the physical maladies that I thought were there did not have to be there and that the only way to heal what was going on or what could have gone on is to start at the top.


Thoughts – they really are things

Too many unenlightened folks do not realize that whenever any one of us produces a thought, that thought produces energy, and that energy produces tangible results. I often tell my clients and my students that if they want physical proof that that thoughts are things, to write down the thought that they are thinking in that moment and hand the paper to me. When they do, I tell them that they have in their hands the thing that proves that thoughts are things.

They had a thought. I had them write it down with a tangible pen onto a tangible piece of paper and voila – manifestation of the thought that they produced, there and in their hands for them to see and to have as the proof that thoughts ARE things.

Of course this perplexes them and they are not really thinking in the manner that is NOT tangible, believing only that what I just showed them is NOT the tangible thing that they were hoping for. Yet, this method does, in fact, work almost every time and once I have explained for them what that exercise is all about.

They are thinking that the thought they have thought is just…nothing…and really, that is the furthest thing from the very truth.

That thinking – that thoughts are not things – are the very reason as to why it is that we end up sick, sometimes chronically so. My reason for writing this today is that often times, light workers will work with chronically ill people. These chronically ill people are in the manner physically that they are because they have been chronically thinking about their chronically charged lives. 

When we are in a state of panic at a constant,we bring to our reality this chronic measure of illness. 

I know this is the truth. The father of my three kids suffers needlessly from the thoughts that he thinks at a constant. He is not the person who I am paired with anymore, and it is not only because of the abuse, but more for the idea that his chronic ailments have caused his body chemistry to be that which is the sort that requires all of the chemical imbalance, and believe me or not, it is the imbalance that is keeping him barely alive in the soul sense. No one needs to have to absorb that overwhelming flow of negativity that really, he believes he no longer has control over…again – not the truth.

It is when we choose to give up our power over our own healing that this chronically ailing way of thinking has control. It is all downhill from that point, and at that point, people are not only bodily sick, but also and more so chronically sick in the Soul-Sense.

In the Soul Sense

In the soul sense this man is in need of SERIOUS transplant of thought, of thought pattern and of belief. Belief is not always going to be of the religious sort. The sort about which I am writing right now is the sort that tells us that we are not worthy, and the sort that says that love is meant to be a tangible thing rather than an energy that is needed in our lives. He is sick because he thinks in a sickly manner.

Thinking Negatively At All Times = A Sickly Manner

It is too easy for the majority of human beings to think in a chronically sickly manner. This is why it is that the majority of humans who are not aware of this live in said same such sickly manner.

Think about the last time that you were not feeling well, and think, too, even as you are a light worker, what it was that your predominant thought was and what part of your life it was where the issue stemmed from. You will find that answer in the thought, not the ailment, because the ailment is a product of the thought.

The thought that produced the ailment ultimately makes it so that human beings will not only think the thought that brought them to their ailment, but when the ailment strikes, they are also thinking about the ailment.

There we have two negative energies produced by one measure of thought, where one thought brought about an ailment and the ailment brought out another negative thought.

This is the thing that Lanakila taught me – that when we think in the manner that is negative thought, there will always be a pattern of bodily defense reaction to compensate for the damages that are occurring within the physical body through that thought.

And, again, when we have one negative thought about a thing, and then we end up sick from that thing, most of the time, humans will go to yet another negative thought, and another, and another until one day they are riddled with aches, pains, disease and bodily function failure.

Light Workers are NOT immune

In fact, because those of us who work in the weird are constantly taking on the energies of our clients, we are prone to LOTS of physical maladies and from time to time, we indeed do take a time out so as to rebalance ourselves bodily.

It is important that workers in the light practice meditation, practice doing what we do for and with others also with ourselves. We are and will always be our first client. The last thing that anyone wants to do is go to a healer who is ailing physically and chronically. If we are not at least the minimal picture of health, it is going to imprint that energy on our clients’ and students’ thoughts.

They will automatically think that if we cannot make ourselves well, at least well enough to do our work properly and effectively, that they will not have that same chance at wholeness through our working with them. This is what they will think, for real. They cannot help but to – they are, indeed, human.

Staying healthy as a human is one thing, but keeping healthy as a light worker is one of the very most important things that any of us can do, not only for those who come to us, but more, for the manner in which we earn our keep. If we are walking the crust of the earth always sick from something, that is a good sign that we need to detox, not only our bodies, but also our minds. This is something that I didn’t not know, but for a time, when I first started doing this work, it was something that I thought did not apply to me, because I was one of the most healthy people I ever knew.

Then, my kids’ father ended up chronically ill, with heart problems and all of its ensuing other, collateral ailments that accompany heart issues.  When I first thought I would like to divorce him, it was with a vengeance that I chased that thought, and all that did was give me reasons to avoid doing it for fear that he would retaliate. This thinking…MY thinking…was rooted in fear, and fear produced for me all sorts of negative thoughts.

Those negative thoughts over the years caused me to have nerve damage, but at least, at this point, even as the damage might be irreversible, I caught my own ridiculousness in time enough to be able to at least manage the symptoms when they happen. And really, the symptoms help me to stop when I need to pause and take a break from all of the absorption.

It was not until about a month ago that I realized that the reason things are only now culminating the way that I have intended them to is because rather than seeing him and his presence as a block, I chose, instead, to see him and his conditions as my own opportunity to study further the correlation between our thoughts and our physical realities, and indeed, it is the truth – that which we think, we will become.

From just that much alone, and from being able to silently observe from a distance, his conditions, and listen to his words and where it is that they are rooted, it is of little wonder that so many people are as sick as they are today.

So many people place their hopes and such on things outside of themselves that they settle for and accept that they are sick, that it is something that is “passed down” genetically, and that they will have to live with it for however long it is that they can manage to stay in the body they have abused with their thoughts.

Light workers, a lot of us, tend to ignore this. There are a lot of us who are sick or chronically sick. Some of us go through these sorts of things on a monthly basis, because we have, throughout the course of weeks, had so many energies sent in our direction that we become overwhelmed by all of what we have absorbed and when that happens, we feel it.

It can show up as an “illness” that feels like the flu, and very definitely anything imbalance WILL show up and present itself (ready?) as the element that we are.

In an example, water signs, namely the Pisces, will retain water so as to protect ourselves from any further energetic intrusion. We will bloat like a plastic milk bottle left on the sidewalk in August in Louisiana.  Cancerians tend to end up with systemic issues having to do with infection and like a crab in the wild whose shell ends up with nicks, dings and teeny tiny barnacles, our crustacean pals end up with things like shingles, hives, headaches, and tummy problems.

For each and every element associated with any birth sign there is also a corresponding part of the body which ends up bearing the brunt of the energetic overload.

Our feelings are actual things, guys, and as light workers and professional weirdos, it is our very selves who we must…MUST tend to first. 

…remember this, please…there is nothing that could be more disconcerting for our clients than to come to us for healing and find that their healer is sick…

Think about it…

Aloha !


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strrrrrrrretch tga


In order to grow, we must stretch


Achievement. It is that thing that most folks use to mark where it is in their lives they have achieved things, achieved status, achieved, period.

What no one realizes is that those achievements are more like reminders of all of the growing that any one of us has gone through. I just wrote a post today about how it is that growth is painful, but that in order to evolve, we have to go through the pain of loss, have to suffer the Karmic consequences of our own actions, and yes, we have to learn from it all.

Yet, many people do not ascribe to this thinking, and it is those who are like this who present a particular challenge for light workers in that those who refuse to stretch are also refusing to grow, and when they refuse to grow, there are a lot of us who work in the weird who end up perplexed and want to believe that our client’s growth and evolution somehow depends on anything that we do for them.


When I first began this madness of working in the weird, I never dreamed that I would come across students who, in one way or another, refuse to grow. Note that I did not state that they refuse to learn, but that they refuse to grow. There is a difference.

Part of what they are supposed to learn from us is the ability to accept things. I was recently told that I refuse to accept things, and this is not the truth. The truth is that I accept things, but the truth is also that I have spent my lifetime accepting things that other people told me was the truth according to them (but maybe not to me) and that right now, I am in the middle of a growth spurt and right now I am very uncomfortable in a lot of ways and right now I also know that I am evolving and becoming ever more that which I have accepted as being.

This does not make the person who told me this wrong, it makes them without all of the information that I would imagine anyone would need in order to know the whole story, because as we all know, no matter how much we think we know, we do not, in fact, know everything about everything that we recognize as being the truth of someone else.

The reason that I told you that little story of someone telling me that I am not where they may believe I know I am is simply and only because it illustrates for you, the reader, where it is that we are not stretching ourselves in the manner that carries the energy of anyone at all growing at their own rate of speed.

This means that not all of us are going to evolve in the same manner that others will. This means that no matter what anyone at all thinks, we all grow when we are meant to and not when it is that anyone else has it in their heads that we might. It may well be that my Self is not done learning patience, or that my Self is simply not ready to grow past where it is at the moment, because my Self does things on Hawai’ian time, and not on anyone human’s…not even my own.

We do not grow when another human tells us that they think they know why it is that we are not getting past where we are. I have found and have confirmed, too, that no matter who says what – it is not…NOT up to us to choose when we will be pressed to learn more, to grow further and to stretch ourselves. If we knew that much, I would not be sitting here writing this.

I would be on some beach in Mau’i, drinking something cool and fruity and spending time with the most important people in my life…because if any of us could choose when we learn, when we need to stretch, and when in terms of anything spiritual, we would all be perfect.

It is never up to us to know or even guess what it is that we are stretching ourselves to grow and to learn from.

In fact, things like that are never our choice, and really, there is no way to speed up when those lessons come to us – there really is only time to gird one’s self and prepare for the harshness that is the reality of learning one’s own personal and spiritual lessons in life.

We do not get to choose what it is that we will learn – we choose if whether or not we will accept learning it, or try hard to not learn it

I will admit to being one who has refused, for years, to learn certain lessons in my life, with the biggest one being the ability to fear less that which has not transpired.

I have had to learn to face my own dragon which came not in the form of an abusive marriage, but in the form of believing that there was no way out of it. The reason that I felt this way is because of the fear that I’d grown up in and the beliefs that I had been raised with. In order for me to no longer fear what I did not know would not happen, I had to look at the whole thing from an observer’s point of view.

I essentially had to coach me and ask me what the hell my problem is. I had to ask me why I hadn’t ever just got up and left. (Even though I did, several times, and was always found by that person…and why? BECAUSE I WAS NOT DONE LEARNING FROM THAT PERSON YET, like I now am).

A lot of people believe that a person can just up and leave such a situation, but that is so not the case. The reality is that you are of the energy and belief that whatever it was that you were told by anyone else, you are to trust, and most of all, you are NOT to trust your own human judgment of things because the big scary God said you are not allowed to. Already, because of that much alone, it is not hard to see why it is that I was so scared to just do what I have done recently and face up to the dragon and tell him to back off. It took me a little while to do.

Facing the things that we do not want to face impedes our ability to serve those who we work with as best we can.

Fear is not the only thing that I had to conquer, and it was not as simple as many people told me that it would be. No one said that I would feel all of the reasons for the pain in an emotional sense. No one said that the trust that I thought I had in people was not trust but rather and only my own manner of staying safe from physical harm. It was not until I was forced to look back into my childhood, without the aid of a shrink, the aid of a book, and only the covers over me, in dreams, when I would see this creature – a dragon, and recoil in terror.

I always woke up before the dragon could destroy me.

And really, that is what this is all about – waking up so that we can face the things that scare the hell out of us, stretch beyond what it was that we believed, grow into our Selves before we think we have to, and eventually, with little effort, wake up, literally and spiritually, one day, finally understanding the reason as to why we went through what we went through and what we learned from the things that seemed to want to eat our lives whole.

If I didn’t try hard to get out of this mess that I have been stuck in for twenty-five years, and if I didn’t finally and one day stand up to the dragon and didn’t do all of the stretching and working and growing and crying and everything else that I went through over the years, I would not have become this me. (a better, weirder version of Rox lol)

Anyone at all can tell you that you can do what you need to, and while this is the truth, what we are never told is that it is going to hurt to grow, that it is going to take however long it is going to take, and that most of all, while we are pining for the end of the lessons, all the while, we are growing at our own pace, which is something that not a lot of healers will tell their students or their clients.

When you feel like you are about to go through something, remember that you asked to be this version of you and that you knew from the start that you would go through things that would break you in the soul, if not in the body.

But also, never forget that you are getting somewhere, that you are going to be able to serve those who come to you for your Wisdom and your compassion, not only from the perspective of the professional weirdo that you call yourself, but more, from the perspective and the experience that is yours and yours alone.

…and this is a priceless thing, really, the ability to stand alone, teaching others not how to do what you do, but more, how to do what they want to do their own way.

Aloha !

Just ROX meme...(not typical minister)


The Numerological Significance of Your Birthday



Unenlightened and ugh…pompous…”mature” humans believe that when you get to a certain age that we are not supposed to celebrate our personal milestones. Thing is, without our date of birth, in lots of ways, we do not know the path we are meant to be on, or perhaps cannot understand why it is that we are on the one that we are currently.

Our birthdays are cause to celebrate…so do it, dammit

A whole lot of information is contained in our date of birth. The way that I was raised I was taught that when you get to a certain age, you’re expected to stop celebrating in the manner which we celebrated our birthdays as kids.

By this I do not mean, unless you want to do it that way, to don silly multi-colored party hats, to sing crazy songs one would only find in a cartoon, to play pin the tail on anything unless that is how you roll…if so, then happy birthday to you and here is to hoping for many, many more !

I happen to think our birthdays are very important, are our own personal holiday, are the days of the year that we get to mark on our calendar that we made it through another one, and thank the Goddess for it.

My personal holiday is tomorrow, March 11. Throughout the course of my life, until about ten years ago, I had no idea of what it was that my aunt, Kahuna Wahine Ali’i Nui (big fancy Hawai’ian way of saying “The High Priestess”), Kalei’iliahi, was telling me all those years when she told me that my lifepath number, my birth number, essentially, was the number 22.


There are lots of us on planet Earth, number 22’s. What that means is that we are the master builders, and what it is that we are building is entirely up to us and based on what our own personal strengths are that were discovered by us through those times in our lives when it seemed as though we were never going to get up from that place called “Rock Bottom.” It is through the energy of this one thing that I know, for sure, that my time as a human being and in this particular physical me that my life is one which will be lived as a master builder of communities.

By communities I am not talking about actual buildings, but rather and only communities of people who, at one time, did not understand one another and who, with help from me or someone like me, will always understand one another.

My place within any kind of community is as master communicator, which is not only all over my natal chart, but is confirmed in another kind of chart – my numerology birth chart. (And proof of this communicative gift of mine…everything I do, including The Medicine Dance – Hula…where the dance is done by telling a story with the hands…has to do with communicating with other humans by what means I have within me…Pisces = we love to dance…#22 …builder and communicator = Me).

I will be honest with anyone when I say that I am allergic to numbers, but in order to learn mathematics in a manner that I can understand, I learned about something called Sacred Geometry, and, of course, a tiny little bit, in regards to what each number’s meaning is, through numerology.

While I am not one who practices this discipline regularly, I am one who understands what it is all about, and more, what numerology gives any one of us is almost the exact same thing that knowing what is contained in an astrological birth chart will.

(And if you are thinking to become a worker in the light and be paid for it, your BEST option is to at least get a basic understanding of astrology or numerology, because that is where you will learn the most about the people who you help…keep reading, please)

Too many people want to ascribe these things that I teach, that lots of people believe and understand, as being somewhat or somehow something that a light worker can tell anyone else their future with.

This is not the truth.

What we are looking at when we are examining any kind of chart is actually up to the person who is reading it.

Myself, when I look at a person’s chart, which for me is always a natal chart (because math gives me hives), I am not trying to tell anyone’s future – please get that out of your head right now (thank you).

What I am actually doing is seeing there how everything has, to that point, and according to what it is that I am looking at, culminated and why. This is not something that is different for anyone whose job is as professional (insert job title here) would be, really.

It is like any other person who is and can call themselves a professional in their line of work – when they read anything at all, and based on their own experience within their own profession, it is so that they can find out the gist of things and become able to explain, troubleshoot, remove a problem from the lives of their clients.


This is really what we do with that wheel chart, really what we do with that numbers chart…really, this is what we do – we are NOT telling the future, but rather and only helping our charges see the options afforded them by the energies present in their lives at the time they are there and in communication with us.

When I also have the opportunity to look at a person’s numerology chart, while some of what I see there is the same as will be the natal chart, what a numerology chart tells me is, by the numbers, “here is the energy that will be produced from this particular house, and the way that this particular energy will affect things happening in that particular chart has the potential for this, that or the other to happen, and by the numbers, I can see, too, that this, that and the other and blah blah blah.”

And whether this, that or the other happens in the life of that particular client is up to the client. Giving clients this information gives them options. 

I always believed that I was never given the option to rise to the top of my own game, because forever, it seemed, no one was willingly telling me how to get there. More than that, when added to these factors the idea that I was raised in a very heavy, real energy of fear of the unknown, it should be very apparent to anyone, with or without any kind of chart, that a LOT of my upbringing was about giving to me what was given to them – fear, of everything, and controlling people – anyone at all- with that fear of an unseen God (the unknown).

Yes…it is all over my chart…all of what I am telling you here, about me, in regards to why it took this much time to get to where I am now.

It was not my parents who were going to tell me, because my belief is that they wanted what was best for me, but like all parents, including myself from time to time, they might have felt compelled to inject into those times when we would discuss what I would do for my life, those things that they wanted for me according to them and their own preferences.

Had they bothered to listen to Auntie Kalei, they might not have had to go through what I am sure was their disappointment that while I grew up to be a “woman of the cloth,” it was a cloth made of leather and spandex and rock n’ roll rather than the raiment of the big scary god I was raised to believe exists.

They might have not unknowingly brought me years of being ashamed of my gift of knowing, of telepathy, of empathy, of healing, of mediumship, and they might have embraced my true self instead of pretending to not recoil from it. (Fear is a funny bitch…it seems to have turned the big scary god into nothing more than a cartoon character who shows up on “Family Guy” and does parlor tricks for bimbos at bowling alleys…just sayin’)

Had any person at all in my life during my childhood bothered to not judge Auntie Kalei’s beliefs for the things that to this day, she still does, still believes, and hell yes, still is one of the MOST bad ass teachers of Spirit who I have had the luck of having in my life from the start of it, I might have had an easier time as a child, not by those who would try to convince me, but through those, like Auntie Kalei, who saw the need for clarity.

This is what we who work in the weird do – we DO NOT tell other people what is the truth according to us, but rather, we give people options to exercise their free will in any area of their life, including and in some cases, especially when it comes to spiritual beliefs. This, in turn, also gives them other things that they can utilize, such as the discovery that they are allowed to create their own truths and live by their own rules as they see fit, so long as they do not see fit to harm others or to bring harm to others.

It is through what we are actually reading in a reading that tells us what we can tell you, tells us what we are not allowed (by the rule of Karma) to tell you and that you are learning, and tells us, as well, what kind of personal and powerful potential is there and residing within you and that is waiting for you to discover it. Another teacher of mine, a lovely woman whose name is Noreen, is who furthered the lessons with Auntie Kalei in the nuts and bolts sense, by further explaining to me why she cannot tell me things that I just am not, or at least thought I was not, strong enough to deal with.

Had both Noreen and my aunt NOT also taught me this one thing, by simply knowing what is in my natal chart, they would not have been able to deliver the message in the gentle manner they did and still do, to this day. It was my aunt who brought to me that these things existed, and Noreen who taught me how to look at them and create my own understanding of what I was looking at.

Having a basic understanding of things, no matter what those things are, never hurts

My knowledge of astrology grows daily, even though it is one of my strengths (because I love it as much as I do). Had I not dealt with the “truths” that I grew up with, the very “truths” that are not my truths but remain to be the respected-by-me truths of others, I might not be writing this.

In fact, I might well be not this me…I might be something that I was told I should be…ugh…a news journalist. (Nothing wrong with it, but it just is not for me and never was…not all writers can be journalists, and I promise that not…NOT all journalists are actual writers…seriously..)

My knowledge of numerology is not the same as what is my knowledge of astrology. In terms of knowing what I am looking at and having one more thing to confirm one reading with as backed by another yet similar method of gaining clarity is something that I was taught to do, something that both my Auntie Kalei and Noreen, to this day even, still remain to say, sometimes without saying, is not only a good thing to do and to know, but for me, specifically, is a needed thing, because they both are well aware of my constant need for clarity and security in every area of my life.

Knowing what is in the charts of the people who I read for is one thing, but knowing, too, what sort of energy it is that they are afforded with by my letting them know what is their potential in terms of where the energy can be directed is the one thing that these two women specifically have taught me over the course of the years as their student.

Neither of these women were willing to tell me more than I needed to learn, and neither of them told me the reasons as to why it is that they did it this way, even though now, I know, and now, I do that same thing with my own students.

Neither Auntie nor Noreen told me why it was so important that I know the things that I know, that I study what they each knew I would need to know in order to do my job effectively.

Neither of them told me, either, that I would be so grateful that I did listen to them when, with either of them, I balked at the idea of even having a very basic understanding of Numerology because of my fear of not getting the right answers when doing simple mathematics.

Right now, at this time in my life, I could not be happier (for all of the right reasons) and more than that, I could not breathe the sighs of relief when it is that a client will query me about numerology and if I believe they ought to learn it.

My answer is always the same one that I was given.

“Go for it…it won’t hurt you…it’s in your chart anyway, in your ninth house of higher learning…betcha thought I’d try talkin’ ya into college…nah….numerology…astrology…all of those strange things ARE different spiritual areas of higher learning…so…hell yeah – GO FOR IT!”

Aloha !


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Hau’oli La Hanau to all my fellow Pisces !!


Another way to deal with the 12th House

I Love Lucy Ghetto Allegory 12th House ARticle

So many seem to fear the things that are in the 12th House of their Natal Chart. Here is another way to explain its energy and offerings.

“I Love Lucy” gave us all a whole lot of laughs, but more than a lot else, it also gave us a comedic example of the 12th house and the phrase/term “self-undoing.”

When a lot of people hear the term “12th House,” suddenly there is a fear there that they do not even know exists, because it is in the 12th house where everything that we are scared to look at, face, admit to, deal with, shrink in fear from…anything that sucks and that we are afraid to look at or to show the world is what the 12th house is all about.

It is known as the “house of self-undoing,” and the phrase “self-undoing” really ought to be also thought of as being a chance to face fears which no one wants to look at, no one wants to deal with and no one wants to hurt another day from. Thing is, it is the 12th house that people fear the most, and the 12th house that people do not want to look at, let alone deal with what is there.

Because I know that the people who read this particular blog have a bit of a clue about how the 12th house operates in regards to planets and signs, I will just continue to explain the other way of dealing with this particular energy in terms of not scaring people into being more afraid, not of the Karma represented in this house, but more, the idea that there is nothing that they can do about what is there.

There is always a way to deal with the things that we see there. The way that I look at a person’s chart is not that difficult. I see each of the twelve houses as an actual street lined with many different houses. I see the planets in those houses as what sort of home it is on the inside of the house. I see the signs in the houses as the sort of people who live in the house.  Sometimes, the people who live in the house do not get along with the property owners (actual planetary ruler and sign i.e. = Pisces is the natural ruler of the 12th house, and the planet which is represented by Pisces is Neptune). Sometimes, the people who live in the house aren’t the neighbors’ favorites. Sometimes the people who live in the house do not like the house but really have no choice but to live there.

That is only a very elementary explanation of at least the way that you can easily understand, from a very very simple point of view, the way that this all works. In terms of the way that the 12th house operates in anyone’s chart, you must first know what each house is about (which area of life, that is).

Since we know that the 12th house represents everything that scares the hell out of us in some manner, the 12th house is about, at least what we read and are told and what a whole lot of astrologers like to scare people with (totally wrong, by the way), our life’s lessons and NOT about our being totally scared of what is there.

I prefer to teach people this about themselves in the manner that is NOT scary, that is their having a chance to make things right and to balance out their karma if they could just manage to face within them the very thing that scares them the most…ultimately, the one thing is inevitably  and most of the time our own ability to believe the things that we never had to be weighted down with for as long as a whole lot of people have been.

An example – “Sun in 12th”

Here is where the most fear, collectively, is at. Too many people who have their sun sign in the 12th house of Karma (I prefer to call them life lessons…the 12th house of Life Lessons is what I call it and how I refer to this part of anyone’s chart unless I am personally close with them…then I explain it in conversation) have also heard that this particular placement of the Sun is pointing to the idea that the native in the chart is doomed, their fate, sealed, and their lives in the hands of “whatever happens, happens,” and this is so not the way that it has to be.

Just because your sun is in the 12th house it does not mean and neither guarantees that you will, by your own hand, be the one who causes the undoing in your life. And really, what does the word “undoing” actually mean and what does it mean to anyone at all on a personal singular level?

What no one EVER thinks about is that the term “self-undoing” could also be a very positive thing in that, if a person must “undo” the self so that same said such person can become whole, then when it is that someone is going through the energy that is transformation, energy that is our being able to finally look at all of those things about ourselves that we do not like or simply cannot bear to deal with the pain it causes, we end up trying hard to not go through that energy.

So please read on, because the rest of this writing is applicable to all the signs in that one house

12th House Influence and Energy and whatever else I missed

When we chose to not go through the 12th house energy we can end up very flustered, end up in a mess of thoughts that will precede actions which very well might get us into some sort of problem with others. The twelfth house is about our Karma, about the things that scare us and that we are more inclined to shrink from than to stare the dragon down and refuse to be further guided by our fears instead of our intention.

If we who are knowledgeable about these things are also able to tell a person another manner and method by which they can see this house and that manner is such one that said person can effectively deal with each of the things contained within that house and can create a way for themselves to utilize the energy rather than recoil in terror from it, we can help people, one by one, to learn from the energy and apply it and to no longer run from having to face it.

Houses 4,8, and 12 are all connected, given that all are ruled by water with Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces in each of these three houses. One is able to find out where it is that their fears originate from. In my case, my 12th house is Cancer. Cancer, in the manner that I have thought about it through the years, deals with security, home, nuturing, mothering, and things dealing with the home that is a building and the home which we create within our own selves.

Even as I fear looking at this house, I still look, and I find out that indeed, throughout the course of my life, I have been scared of losing the security that one is meant to have within the boundaries that is the family, that is the energy of being nurtured and cared for, that is the energy that is security within a tribe of souls and that is the energy of one’s blood relations.

For a long time I focused the energy in me and in my 12th house in a defensive manner, guarding my inner home and my inner sense of security within myself and through myself with a false sense of fearless vengeance. I have spent my time on this planet trying very hard to make my parents and my family proud of me. Thing is, I am a bit on the weird side of things for the majority of them, and because of that one thing, coupled with the idea that there seems to have always been a very …harshly judgmental…energy, not just in my direction, but in my direction for the majority of my life, my Cancerian 12th house was not where the hearth, nor the home, in my inner world, was being nurtured.

While it is that these people will always be my relatives is one thing, but that I have always considered people who are not my blood relations as being my family is indicative of my having used my 12th house energy in a manner which was very healing for me. What else is there is that, given that my 12th seems to have scared the hell out of me forever already, that it is in Cancer also, through this person who refers to me only as “The Pineapple,” has given me a living example of what it is to be nutured, cared for, seen to. In that manner, while that person is not my medicine, that person is an energy which makes me feel very secure within me, simply because that is the nature of the Cancer sun sign.

In that manner, I chose a very lovely way for me to have tangible proof that what is contained within our 12th house can be healed and can, once healed, become a strong point in the area of life which the sign in which the house is ruled in my chart. The person who represents this house in my life has proved, over time, and without my prompting it, that really, once we each can get past what we think is there, and once we can face not only our own fears contained there but also that of other people, we are, at that moment, on our way to healing from that ache.

Had I not stepped out in fearlessness, not chosen to risk something I might lose (the fear that I believed was protecting me when really it was only restricting me from healing part of those fears…and I continue to keep healing from them with the help of my observing and reminding myself that it is the absolute realest thing to me now) in exchange for something that I was not able to make the call about (sharing my truest, highest and most vulnerable self), I might not be as absolutely giddy about that part of my life as I am and have been for quite some time now.

When explaining things to others, namely the energies of the water houses, the best way to tell others about how to deal with anything in their chart at all is to use yourself and what you have learned from those fears which for far too long lived in the neighborhood of your truest, highest and best self. I love that I am able to deal with the fears that are not so prominent as they were when I thought about someone else’s description of the 12th house as opposed to the one I have created with help from my twin fish.

When we choose to look at what we are scared to let the world see, and we cannot bear the weight of the judgment which could arise from the things that we choose to heal within ourselves through the energy that is brought to us from others and via the 12th house, we do not realize that we are actually becoming immune to the fear that, because the 12th is naturally ruled by Pisces and Neptune (Planet of illusion and deception, and Pisces is the other fearful and anxious sea creature who is able to succumb to those fears brought by the imagination…and man, oh, MAN do I know that one FOR SURE ! UGH !!!) does not truly exist anywhere than in the answer to the questions that we would rather not risk asking for fear of losing important energies in our lives.

Without my overcoming my fear of facing me, speaking of twins, I might not be able, at all, to look my twin flame in the eye and know, for real, that really, there is nothing to fear there at all, and there never was. Without that person’s ability, through their 12th house, where their sun resides, they might not have been able, through the facing of that fear of losing something dear to them in some manner, to open up in the manner they have.

…and all we each did, really, was choose to work with that fearful energy which we each and all are born with and not to worry about what we might have believed would be the thing that would make us and important others have to hurt from the harm that we think we would cause.

The 12th house is less about harm than it is about illusion of it, more about becoming wiser and stronger through having cleared up and cleared out the lessons of Karma that we have to learn in order to have any kind of life befitting of Souls which are aspiring to higher levels of being.

Embrace the unknown of the 12th house energies. You might be surprised to find out what exactly it is that you really are not scared of, but that you might have been convinced that you have to fear what it is that, instead, you must learn to love.

I learned to love my insecurities, for no other reason than that I know they make me stronger and more able to deal with things as they are presented.

Then, one day, tangible proof came into being…because I refused to be afraid of the truth…and the truth is that really, I cannot think of a better lesson I have learned than walking through the fires of life knowing that the ocean was just on the other side waiting to cool the burn of simply not knowing what I might be faced with.

I’m glad I chose to do like Salmon do…

Swim upstream til I made it home…

Aloha !

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