In The Dark

1in the dark tga

We all have one thing that gives us pain, and that one thing that we have within us is also the thing that we are not looking at as anything BUT that thing that gives us our pain. When we are in pain, we are in our darkness. Our darkness is not what we have been told it is. Our darkness is a tool, not an impediment

“You never listen to the voices inside
They fill your ears as you run to a place to hide
You’re never sure if the illusion is real
You pinch yourself but the memories are all you feel”

               (From Billy Squier’s “In The Dark”)


It is the one thing that not all Workers of The Light are very well ready to deal with. It is the one thing that we are taught to get a handle on, but it is also the one thing that we are not told, even as we are taught, is meant to help us rather than continue to hurt us.

In fact, it is with dear and dire glee that I write this today, because of this one thing that I happened to happen upon in terms of what we are supposed to do with our darkness.

Our Darkness

Our darkness is the one thing in our toolbox that we alone are meant to use, not for the purpose of hurting others, but for the purpose of making things right and bringing balance to horribly unbalanced situations in the tangible world. The Darkness within us is NOT there to scare us, even though because of it, we are fearful. Our Darkness has kept us safe to this point, because that is what it was meant for – to keep children, when we are children, safe. It is the fear within us, and is conjured as the things that we don’t want to deal with or to look at, mixed with that one thing that we all want to do, no matter what that one thing is and according to each of our life paths.

For example, I have a soul twin. I call her “Gator.” I also have a twin flame. I call him “Maestro.” For each of these two people, there is an opposite light to the darkness that is within me that each of these two people represent in opposition to what it is that I already have experienced. While it is that I work with Gator, I help Maestro work on himself, using his own measure of Darkness, much as when I work with Gator, it is the combined energy between two like souls that is where the power and the healing energy is at.

You read that right – it is contained within the pain energy that resides within you as physical pain.

My Soul Brother, Greg

Typically I won’t name names, but in this one instance, I have to, because …well, just because. The things that Gator, Greg and I have in common is not only that we gravitate toward The Weirdness, but that we all know each others’ pain, even as we have no clue as to what to do with it.

Okay, so NOW I know what to do with it, and had I not explained it to my soul Brother, Greg, while he, himself, is ailing, I might not also be here finally, after about three weeks of not writing this blog, writing what I happened upon. Understand that this is just my own thought about it, and is only my own theory in that, whatever it is that is hurting us, that one thing and the energy, specifically, created from it, is meant for us to use as one of our tools for healing and bringing balance back to our lives, no matter what that balance, in our heads, appears to be.

What that balance, in our heads, appears to be

I won’t state here for the world to see and to know what that balance is represented by for me. What I will state is that when I was told that the way that I wanted it could not be in the manner nor the energy that I was living in at the time, it made no sense to me why it was that the thing that I saw, which was the thing that other healers also saw and could not wrap their heads around as to the reason why it could not happen at that time for me while I was in that energy.

Well, there are a whole lot of reasons why, and all of them link back to that thing called Karma. When we do things from a place of pain, and we are sitting smack dab in the middle of that pain, we are also in a very heightened emotional state of being in every manner. When we are trying to bring balance for ourselves or trying to teach others that same thing, if we are overly emotional about it, or, if the thing we know we need but can do nothing about at that time is not what we need to do right then and there, there is ALWAYS going to be a reason, and typically that reason is because of the “why” it needs to be the way that we “see” it in our heads.

For me, the thing that I ‘see” constantly in my head is “the end of things” where one other person who is not named here and will not be named anywhere, is concerned. Those who need to know, know, and the rest of you can sit back and know that it is by this one example that I know I am right. If we are kept in the darkness that is our own long enough to have to seek our own light, we will end up seeing our own light because our own light will come to us when we need to it shine onto someone else’s darkness. Other peoples’ darkness is NOT ours to take on, but it is there and we are allowed to observe it. What I have observed over the last seven years is that when we are at the lowest point that we can consciously perceive, Spirit will always take us deeper into that one thing, and She does it so that we can completely understand why this darkness exists and why it is that we have to study it.

I had to study it because, as Kahuna, I have to traverse both the Light and the Darkness in others, and if I do not know how to face my own, I cannot help other people balance theirs. This is not my rule. This is the law of the Universe. If we choose to strike out with whatever it is that we are feeling at any given moment and we give into our pain without thinking, a whole lot of bullshit WILL happen, and while it is that you might be able to get yourself out of that bullshit, you might not realize the bullshit that you have caused for other people. We can think of other people who are NOT the people we are pissed at and who are not the people who hurt us the most, as being collateral damage. We do not need that sort of damage.

When we are in emotional pain, it is not too long afterwards, if we do not know what to do with that pain or how to use it correctly, that we will also be in physical pain. I know this one personally. I see an actual medical doctor for it, but in no way am I taking anything she prescribes, and it is because I don’t do pills well. Not only that, something has been “telling” me all these years  that this pain and all of its technicalities are meant for me to use. I just did not know how, or why.

I do now.

It has to be done with a LOT of thought behind it, and it must address the entirety of the situation, where the one thing that is common to everything in that imbalance is the one thing that needs to be addressed. Now, when it is addressed, there are two ways that a person can go about it – the right way, or, the other way. Most folks who are Workers of The Light and who are not ready to look at things in this manner will always and only go toward the light. Once it is that they have figured out what it is about their darkness that scares them so badly is when it is that the greater understanding of why it exists will be revealed. It is not until this point where ALL Workers of The Light will be called upon to make this decision – to do, or not to do – that one thing that we all know needs to be done, which is simply to restore balance.

Restoring balance is not something that has only one face on it. It can be many things, and all of it will have the same signature to it. No matter what, where it is that the Universe DEMANDS things to be made right, things, no matter what, again, will be made right. The times that it will not automatically be made right are those times where what it is that we WANT to do cannot be done right that moment, because right that moment when we are highly emotional is the WRONG moment to do anything.

Doing anything about it comes far later, when you are no longer emotionally attached to one outcome, when you can take it or leave it, the way that things turn out, so long as they turn out for the benefit of all involved. If there was hurt involved, the best thing to do is walk away. When you walk away and they follow, you know that once it is that you get over it and over the ego’s emotional response to it all…THEN is when you can do something about it, because then is when you will be thinking clearly about  things and will be able to come up with a viable, doable, acceptable means by which you can balance the energies.

When you have pain that persists, the one thing that no doctor is going to tell you is to examine the roots of that pain emotionally. That is where we who are Workers of The Light exist – in the energy field of emotions, and because of this one thing, we have to be cautious with the tools that we are given, that we hone and sharpen for our use.

Yes…even when people are shitty to us…especially when they are shitty to us.



Yes…Yes I WILL Marry You !!

…even if you’re gay…

…even if you think you can’t afford a cool wedding…

Hit me up…we can think of something

Click the picture to be taken to my weddings page

Antique Good Luck Horseshoe and Pentagram

House of Magical Illumination

On the rare day off from working a 40 hour a week job, as well as working on Candlesmoke for the remaining hours, Sara and I love to drive out into the scattered winds and hunt down antique shops. I have loved doing this for as long as I can remember. I was always far more excited to go to a “junk shop” than a Toys R’ Us. As I have gotten older the amount of things I hunt for has been greatly diminished, however there are still a few things that are always going to be on my list.

One of the very few things that I have continued to collect has been Good Luck Charms. Amulets, tokens, postcards, key-chains, coins, statues…you name it, if it’s “Lucky” and nice looking then I’m interested. Our collection peeks out from all corners of our home, inside and out.

You can imagine…

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Dave Grohl Devil TGA

To All Of You Who Think  Me and Everyone Like Me are demonic people… You’re probably not going to like this article…but, we don’t like having to defend our lives, our credibility, and ourselves, because you guys can’t keep your mouths shut and your opinions about folks like us to yourselves.

Typically I will write something in this blog about how to utilize one’s gifts in terms of doing this stuff for your job.

Yet, today, after having had to figure out a few things on my own, once again, and after my not wanting to have to deal with yet one more harmful-to-my-emotional-self kind of day on behalf of the douche bags in my own life, I felt like to day was the day that, rather than posting yet one more time in an arena that is more akin to my online living room in Facebook, and since it is that I REFUSE to come unglued with people in my Linkedin, and since it is that I am a teacher of things from the Weirdness, I am here today to teach my charges how not to put up with peoples’ bullshit, namely from people who LIKE to judge that which is not like them, that which is not a mainstream religion and that which those who believe this nonsense also believe that since they are “sanctioned by God,” that somehow, they are better than we are.

All Ye Sinners…including the ones who attend church every Sunday – ‘AUHEA WALE ANA ‘OE…. PAY YOUR ASSES ATTENTION…FOR REAL

Okay…let us get one thing absolutely and completely straight. I have had completely enough of having to clean up the credibility issues over the years with people “of the church” seemingly believing that they have the … right…upon becoming saved, to try hard to make other peoples’ lives a living hell when those other people are not willing to believe what it is that you are trying to sell to them. I am sorry folks, but I am not now, neither will I ever, follow the tenets of what it is that you believe, because what it is that you choose to believe, as much as what I choose not only to believe, but to PRACTICE WHAT IT IS THAT I TEACH, and LIVE BY MY OWN WORDS and NOT THE WORDS OF A MILLION AND ONE POLITICIANS.

That, guys, is REALLY where your religious beliefs have spawned from – small minded people with big agendas and who also need followers. My beliefs, and the beliefs of many millions of people just like me, don’t tell us that if we do not follow the big bad scary god you are too inclined to not only get on your knees for, but more, like using as your junkyard dog to chase after sinners and heathens and (ahem) “devil worshiping lunatics” like myself, are none of your god damned business. Period.

Let me tell you something, you fools…you are not going to hurt us. I promise. Neither is your ridiculously abusive MALE god who you all seem to think is the last answer to everything. Now, understand, realize and BELIEVE one thing about this writer – I KNOW that there IS a God, and I KNOW that there are actual GOOD believers of a certain faith who are inclined to be meek, be the least of people, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEIR CHRIST HAS MADE RIGHT AND GOOD, and really, that sounds SO VERY MUCH like what me and the rest of the “devil worshipers” on the planet also live our lives like – we live like you believe you do, but many,many of you don’t.

And let’s also get ANOTHER thing straight, okay? THERE ARE ACTUAL PEOPLE WHO WORSHIP SATAN ON THIS PLANET, and the more that you continue to piss them off, the more you will find out that they really don’t care what you have to say about them because the truth is that they are way too busy FOLLOWING THE TENETS OF THEIR OWN FAITH and don’t really care too much about what you have to say because the truth is that THEY DO NOT HAVE THE TIME FOR YOU or your nonsense.

Neither do we.

Just because people are not like you guys, it doesn’t mean that they are wrong and more, it also doesn’t mean that you are allowed to go out into this world, talk all kinds of untruths, then have the very nerve after you have made it so that they have to repair their reputation, much as I have had to do, again and again, for a very long time now, and it is all tied to the things that I believe and more, the things that I practice, to continue to spread your lies about people who are not the same joiner types that you are. What you are not thinking about is the idea that we who work in the weird are not prone to conformity, and we are not prone to following that which harms – that is not our way, even though for a long time it was your faith’s way.

The premise in thought for many generations regarding YOUR specific faith was that if it doesn’t heed what we demand, kill it, fast. The premise was that if it isn’t like us, it is wrong, so kill it. The premise was that if it has a brain and thinks and those thoughts are not like ours, kill it. But mostly, if it follows a female deity – oh for fucksake KILL IT AND KILL IT FAST, swift, with lots and lots of hatred…wow, what a man your big scary god is, picking on women like that…what an asshole that guy is (Yeah, I said it, so fuckin’ deal with it – you drew out the witch in the priestess and now there is NO PUTTIN’ HER BACK UNTIL SHE HAS HAD HER SAY…you created this…eat the pie you made, bitches)

You would all be right and good to do one thing – open up that damned book you like thumping people like me with once in a while and see how what you read there pertains to you and the followers of that faith, how you all are living, what you all are saying about whom and more than much else, realize NOW that there is NOTHING IN THAT book stating, anywhere, that what I am doing, what anyone like me who is also doing what I do, is somehow the worst thing in the world that people can do. According to that damned book, which, by the way, WAS NOT WRITTEN FOR PEOPLE WHO DO NOT FOLLOW THAT FAITH – YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO JUDGE us, and you are not allowed to go and gossip about your opinion of what we do or about who we are FOR REAL.

That you need to have an enemy to fight is in direct conflict with what Christ teaches, which is to turn the other cheek, but rarely have any of those of you who I have encountered throughout my lifetime EVER done that. In fact, you are all more inclined to fight like madmen, then turn around and tell people that you were doing it to vanquish the troll which does not exist. You are so afraid to end up in your own god’s hell that you are doing everything in direct conflict with everything that is set out by your faith as being the rules by which you people are supposed to live. It seems that you all got the “forgiven” part down pat, and again, that, too, only pertains to you and what you need to be forgiven for, NOT me and people like me.

You needn’t use your scare tactics on me, because it won’t work and your threats are not very effective seeing as how when I bring to you the things that I know, about you, about your religion, about anything in that damned black book, you are dumbfounded. You can say nothing, and then when you finally come up with something, it is something that really, again, I am not afraid of happening because the truth is that this is a great big world that we live in, yours is not the only, neither the oldest, belief system on the planet, and by no means are ANY of you better than anyone else, no, not even though you are “saved.”

This is not about those of you who follow the faith you do, who live by what Christ taught and who live and LET LIVE. This is not about those of you who have been completely lovely with me, even choosing to make jokes about what you believe in terms of what I practice. This is not about those of you who, in the past, have volunteered next to me, doing good in the world, following that which you were taught by Christ, and not the guy with the smirk, the eyes on the cleavage on his deacon’s wife and his physical self wrapped in the very finest suits that the church’s money could buy. This is not for those of you who follow for yourselves, the beauty that is the Love that Christ showed, the Love that we ought to all show, simply and only for the fact that it is our birthright to do so and to do so cheerfully. To all of you, I bid my very realest Aloha…it has been a pleasure doing good things in this world with people whose lives mirror that of Christ as much as it is possible for you all to do that.

But the rest of you?

Reread this in its entirety and know now that what you follow and what I follow, even though they are not the same thing, they have the same energy, which is not but Love.

Or did all of you humans forget about that part ?



Click on the picture and read “Surrendering to The Flow” in #TheManaOBlog this week !