To fear things unknown is to be human. To allow them to keep us from everything that we each and all are is also human. Blaming yourself for all of your troubles is not the same as taking responsibility for changing them. Welcome to the Darkside of Bravery.
I will admit to being terrified by my Life most of the time. No one blames me except for me. I was taught to fear, raised up in an energy that taught me to trust everything and everyone outside of myself, and to never ever trust me. I was not taught to be brave – I had to learn to be brave all on my own, and it was not easy.
It still is not easy.
I still fear that which I do not know, even though that which I do know tells me already what I do not know, and what I do not know is that there really is nothing to fear in taking risks, and that there is only one way for us to not live in terror – by being brave. Being brave is not something that is taught in organized religion, neither in certain schools of thought. In fact, in many religions, it is almost a sin against God and man to stand up for one’s self and be brave.
The only thing we truly fear is what we do not know. Once we do know what it is that we are actually faced with, and when we finally realize that the dragons which have prodded us into hiding are able to be tamed, so to speak, we learn, as empowered beings with many magickal things about us, that we can deal with things using our magickal things, because those dragons belong to us.
We created them.
They are ours.
Our Dragons are our own
In the latest article written in The Mana’o Blog, it is said to us in not so many words (yeah right…I wrote it – y’all know better), that the reason that we do not see the results of our greatest lives is because we are too busy being wrapped up in everything that sucks that we are not able to see the opportunities which lie within it all. I am a huge sinner in the church of sabotaging my dreams.
In fact, we all are.
It is this conditioning from childhood that makes it this way.
We are told that we have to trust others before we trust us, and we are told that if something happens easily for someone else, that we are not to expect that same thing, that we have to work hard, to still expect to fail ourselves and that we are probably not good enough to have whatever it is that we want in our lives, including something ridiculous, like a pair of fancy snazzy new shoes. (Shoes…yup…Pisces…that’s me 😉 )
Just for a moment, I would like you to take a trip backward in time, back to that place within where your harshest childhood memories still live, and I want you to look at the thing there that makes you think that you are not good enough to have what you want, that you are not able to use your Sixth Sense capabilities. I want you to understand right this moment that those things that caused you harm at that time in your life are the same things that are causing you harm now, and that you were never meant to hold onto those memories in the manner that you are holding onto them.
The memories are there to teach you about your own level of terror, so that you can also know what is your own level of bravery.
What every Worker in The Light Finds Out
“Weirdness,” as I so love to all these things that we are capable of, takes practice.
There are a lot of people on this planet who use their gifts everyday and they do not know that this is what they are doing. These are people who cause for themselves all sorts of crap, and it is because they don’t understand that what they were subconsciously taught to do all of their lives, by the world, by their parents, by their peers – by everyone to this point (and yes, there are those within the boundaries of our lives who are the opposite of this energy – those are the people to whom I refer as being your “Soul Tribe”).
What every Worker in the Light figures out is that just about everything we have been taught to this point by other people and in the spiritual sense, perhaps even in the sense that is the ego (absolutely in the sense that is the ego…come now…’tis the very ugliest of truths), is that we are told how to feel about who we are, told that what we are able to do, see, hear, know, in the Spiritual and sixth sense way, is not to be trusted.
This poses a very real problem for those of us whose life’s work is “in the weird,” because even though those of us who the dead speak to (actually they speak to us all…it’s just that some of us are more aware of it than others…deal with it- or learn to use it…be brave…yeesh!) are very normal people, there are people who share the air with us who have a mission in life to scare everyone who they can away from our own empowerment, away from who we are in every sense of the word. We are conditioned, broken down into the idea that there is only one all-powerful being, and that all powerful being was always presented to me in the worst possible light that he could be.
I was taught that we are to fear that which we are also meant to trust, but how can anyone trust something so dangerous, something that would cast us into a perpetual energy of doubt, of fear, of self-loathing…all because some other, way unenlightened human beings told us that they have the message and the message is the truth. They tell us not to trust ourselves, and from a young age, most of us believe it.
…basically, this means that to trust ourselves is to be brave…
We are taught, or at least I and lots of others like me, when we are there, ankles crossed, us sitting up straight and proper like, that no matter what we want to believe, that we are too damned stupid to trust anything outside of a big scary God. We are told of the things that WILL happen to us if we stray from that belief that is pounded into our heads about this same said scary God, and that message is repeated to us for as long as it can be, and more (most) importantly – until we no longer believe the things that we are told by others about anything spiritual and anything that we cannot see and that is not presented to us by those others.
This is the sadness that is our lives – that from a young age, our spirits are crushed into a million and one tiny pieces, given these “truths” by parents who are as terrified as we are and who willingly perpetuate those truths. There are some organized-religion religious leaders who are not willing to use these tactics, but defend their beliefs they will. I am not talking about those guys (I know LOTS of those guys…as many of those guys as I know of the other hell-fire and brimstone types…keep reading). I am talking about the people who, through their own unwillingness and their own chosen ignorance, choose for us all, regardless of what we actually believe and do in our lives as Light Workers, what is right and good and acceptable.
This, by the way, is where we are first called upon to be brave – when we are challenging what we were told to believe, versus what we know is our own truth. My truth and your truth are not going to be the same truth. While we might believe the same things, we utilize those same things in a different manner – I do my thing my way, and Greg does his thing his way, and Dannie does her thing her way…I could keep going on and on, but the fact remains that even as we do and believe the same things and the same way, the way that we bring those things in our own lives and into being is going to be markedly different.
This is where what we know and what we are capable of doing in our lives as workers of the Light becomes our own. For some folks, the magick is contained in being able to play music, and for others, create art that is nothing like the art that we all see and have appreciated. The way that we are brave in all of this is simply in the act of doing what we know comes naturally and that which is not like the rest of the crowd.
That is really, at least in my instance, what organized religion gave to me – a chance to stick out like a sore thumb. And please…don’t get me wrong – I do not hate anyone, and I do not have a bone in my body that says that I am anti-this or anti-that (okay, so I AM anti-Sharpton…and that would be me- The Anti-Sharpton lol)…the only thing that I am anti about is people not being brave enough to go forward in life, being unwilling to face every dragon that they own and not try taming the damned things. That is like opening your heart and your home to a dog or a cat and then letting that animal have full terrible reign of your life and your home.
You wouldn’t do that, now would you?
No, of course you wouldn’t.
In fact, you would be brave and train that animal, or you would be braver, and find it a new home. Simple as that.
Brave because it is an animal, and brave because you have to face the idea that you had every good intention within you to love that animal, and now you have to be brave and face the dragon of not having that animal in your life…yes – brave, because it takes bravery to love, even if that love is for an animal.
The fears within you can be called the dragons of your life, and that in order to make that fear go away, you will either have to face your fear and be brave and not think about what COULD or MIGHT happen, or, you can continue to allow your fear to eat your life.
When we embrace the things that terrify us, we are also embracing our own measure of strength.
When we embrace the things that we are unsure of, that we know nothing about, that make us cry out in the darkness for salvation from ourselves, we are telling the Goddess that we can handle whatever is next, that we know what is looking at us, dead in the eyes, and that with the warrior heart, we are charging forward, not worried about the things that happened via the dragons in the past, and only knowing that once we get past them, we are made new.
By “made new,” I mean that we, upon facing that fear, have suddenly become brave. Not fearless – brave. Bravery requires fear. At this time I am terrified of the next level of weirdness that I am learning, but, I know that with the guidance that I have already and that is contained wtihin some of the most bad ass teachers of spirit the planet has walking it, and, the support of generations of Kahuna before me, my fears only need to be tamed. It is the fear that causes us NOT to think, and the fear that causes us to react, rather than respond.
When we learn that response is not as energy-rich with frenetic and fearful energy as is reaction, this is when we can finally and also discern what it is that our symbolism, our intuitive hits and insights are not only trying to tell us, but more, trying to teach us about our very empowered and stand alone selves.
When it was that I learned to utilize the fear within me as a tool, not only to get over it, but more, to have handy in my box of Kahuna’s weirdness, an entirely new way of seeing things came into my life.
Bravery teaches us to see things in a different manner, but fear teaches us only that we are vulnerable
When a person chooses to step into the light from the darkness and to see that where it was that they were busily trying hard to ignore what was bugging them and making their lives harsh, they also begin to see the fear and what symbolizes it as something new and different.
It isn’t a secret that I am in the middle of a very …difficult…end of a marriage, and to be very frank with you all, it has not been easy dealing with the terror that is contained within my own “what if’s” but I am ready to face that dragon, because I was done facing the one that brought me to this point for years. “Pau Hana” is what I call it – Done Working with this.
However, once it was that I stepped outside of my emotional self, asked a few questions of a few very reliable people and chose instead to step into a sixth-sense thinking energy, just for a moment, and looked back to the reality and the evidence of the things that I feared versus the thing that is the reality now, it was with a quickness that I began to think in a different manner about the dragon that, for the majority of my life on this planet, I have lived with.
My own dragons…well, they’re more akin to those tiny little garden lizards we all see doing push-ups in the warmth of the sun, at least the most of them, that is. It was a long and ugly and very harsh reality of fear that was not had by me by choice, but was kept by me out of what I thought was a need for me to be safe from those fears.
All that did was keep me afraid.
The only thing I am scared of are spiders… and people unwilling to think in a broader sense…
Not the people, really, but, the idea that there are people on this planet who are not willing to come away from their fears and see what it is like to use that fear to cultivate bravery. Once we accept that to be brave means also that we are meant to be terrified is also when we have the proverbial keys to the kingdom.
No…for real…try it – try being brave…find out that you can be Brave…using that thing you think is keeping you safe.
Metal Horns Way Up for the staff at Pomona Proud…click on the picture to be taken to the website