…yeah…but, is it believable?


TRUTH. It is that thing that we want from others, and that thing that we know we are good at. It is also that thing that needs to be believable if we are to convince ourselves that it is a Truth.

If you were to read the descriptions of what other people say about the Sun Sign, Pisces, you would imagine that anyone with that Sun Sign is doomed to a life of everyone picking on them and that they will absolutely be someone who is going to be like the fly in the potato salad.

Yet, lots of people who know me personally would say otherwise. They would tell you what they have told me – that I am fiery (I should be…I have a Leo Ascendant), that even if I am quiet, I am still not taking anyone’s shit (Moon in Taurus…meaning that I really will take your shit that you cause for me very personally and I might get very angry…), that when I say something, I mean it, and that I am not scared to tell anyone what is on my mind, should the situation warrant it.

Of course, none of this was I able to figure out until I started asking me questions about the validity of anyone else’s crap.  The things that we do in this lifetime are meant to rebuild this place, from the rubble, up. WE are the rubble, for the most part, and that which we have to build is consciousness and life as we all know it.  What we are experiencing now is the shattering of unbelievable truths that were once truths, but that no longer fit in the times that are ahead of us.

So, to make things a little bit less…scathing…I thought I might give you all a refresher in terms of how it is that the LOA works, specifically the part that is the truths we tell ourselves and what it is that we are willing to believe versus what it is that we are simply just bullshitting ourselves with – yes, even the shitty shit.  And yes, the way that it works totally relates to what I am writing today, because the one thing that we each and all need to draw to ourselves and to our lives are the very rightest types of people who we will need in order to be live our purpose and fulfill our mission.

For instance, I knew back in the early nineties, even though we were both a horrid rock and roll mess, who I belonged with. The way that I knew this was simply because I could not seem to shake the feeling that this person upon whom I happened held some sort of secret that I needed to find out more about. So, for twenty years, I sought them out, and throughout the years, I simply held the belief that I would find them.

I found them, and my life has not been the same since.

While it is that things outside of that one thing and that one person have the propensity to make me sometimes want to not wake up from sleeping, with that one other person I know, because it is believable, that I am perfectly safe and that no matter what the rest of the world wants me to believe, this is my truth about them, because they have not shown me anything else than that I am very, very safe, very protected, very cherished.


However, there is still the matter of the twenty years between when I was still looking for that person. I still have to wade through the mess that someone else…a few someone else’s…made of and for me, and I still have to accept that all of the horrible things that I have heard about myself by these people over the course of a lifetime are NOT the truth. They are not the truth because in order for them to be the truth I have to believe them.

In fact, everything that we hear and see are subject to our approval. We are not obligated to believe the horrible things that we hear about ourselves, no matter how many times in the past we might have displayed emotions that would cause someone else to say what they would about us. What none of us thinks about is that in order for what anyone else has to say to be our truth, we have to believe it.

Not everything that anyone or even everyone else has to say about us is the truth and it doesn’t have to be – we are, through our willingness to believe the bad things that others tell us about us- the reason why those things become our truths…because we let them be.

This is not my being an asshole about things, or me telling you one more thing is your “fault.” It is my saying that by the end of having read this, you will know why, in part, any one of us goes through what we go through and why sometimes we get exactly what we want, and why, more we times, we end up disappointed.

We are not thinking about the idea that maybe those who would say ugly things about us are in their own turmoil and that their personal turmoil, even though they are not showing it (because they have been like this for so long that how they are is their version of normal…) is what we are experiencing when they say what they have, what they will, and what they do. We don’t think that way, because the way that we do think is the way that we have been conditioned to think. If we have only heard, again and again, from very significant people in our lives,how it is that we need to fix something about ourselves because someone else said we make them feel a certain way – that is not about us, but about THEM.

Thing is, we are meant to go through what it is that we are currently going through, and for one reason – so that that which is believable is believed, and that that which is NOT believable, is not. Reread that. Wrap your head around it. The reason that I believe we go through the turmoil that we go through is so that we have something to believe in about ourselves. This moment in time is one that is very important. It is so because inside of it we have the opportunity, like we do with any moment, to change, or start to change, our thoughts. The trick is producing believable thoughts.

Believable Thoughts

All of us have those times in our lives when we are not able to believe something that we are thinking. This is because the thoughts that we think are not always or only our own. We are magnetic in nature, and this means that some of us are going to pick up on the thoughts of the collective, and that we all have the ability to do this.

Within the thoughts of the collective are thoughts that none of us would think about ourselves. When we do not know whose thoughts are whose, and we do not have the steps to take in order to discern between whose thoughts are whose (in other words – the thoughts that we think, versus the thoughts that someone else very close to us think and that we are able to feel, or hear, or see, and then haven’t any idea of how to discern which of those thoughts are our own and which of those thoughts are someone close to us or if it is indeed the thought and energy of the collective whole), we end up thinking thoughts that are not our own, and eventually taking on those energies. (This is how the gift of mediumship becomes apparent in some of us more than in others, particularly water signs…keep reading)

Lots of those thoughts are not believable ones. Lots of those thoughts are mere opinions that, if a person is highly sensitive (I am), if that person does not know how to discern between what is their own and what is someone else’s, the likelihood of them believing a thought that is not theirs is very good. Add to that the thoughts that were deliberately planted into a person’s brain at a young age and then were repeatedly given to them over the course of their lives, what you will have is someone with a believable thought, and a thought that is detrimental in nature.

Okay…now I want you to think about that last thing and think of a few people who have, since the time that you were little, planted thoughts in your head that you have, for years, believed as the truth. Think about every time that you were able to dismiss their “truth” through evidence brought to you by others or even by Spirit, and now think about that person or those people coming back and repeating those thoughts to you. When we believe their thoughts versus our own truths that we know are the truth, and we waver from our truth, we end up doing something called “getting in our own way.”

Not a lot of people knows what it means when somone tells them that they “in their own damned way,” but I do, and I am going to tell you what that means right now.

When we want something badly, what we are really doing, in those thoughts, even the ones that we deny, is showing ourselves a mental picture, NOT of the person or the thing or the situation that we want with them, but the things that we are most desirous of. Reread that and let it soak in. This is not my telling anyone that if we put our eyes on someone who we think we could get something going with, that it is just going to happen. Not at all. What it means is that we now have a symbol in our heads for the thing or situation that we want, and the initial thing (or person or situation) is sort of like a bookmark, NOT for the actual thing, but for the energy that it gives us derived from the thoughts that we think about that one thing.

The other part, the harder part, is that we are open and aware of all of our thoughts. This means that even the shitty things that we have heard are still there and that those shitty thoughts have the same propensity that the newer, good thoughts have. The problem with the shitty thing(s) is that the shitty things have a way of sticking in our heads longer, and with lots more strength, than do the other, better, more believable thoughts, particularly about who we are for real. Who we are for real is not someone else’s to create for us, but, without our realizing so, we allow their opinions become our truths, and it is because we end up believing, through all of the thoughts that are planted in us by others, what is the bad, and we don’t even think about the good things, because again- we have not been taught that way. We have only been taught to conform to what others want and expect from us, and in kind, due to our lifetime worth of training, we comply.

*takes a breath*

Now since you know this much, you have the thing that you needed to know as to why it is that we draw who and what we do to our lives. It really is not just because we are somehow not perfect, but because of the things that we willingly believe are the truth of us as set forth in us by others. The way to combat that is to form new thoughts. This is no easy task. Lots of times it takes someone to help us create those new thoughts. More times it is not just the need to create them, but also to be taught how to believe them using only the things that were presented to us that are not believable.

So, for starters, the things that you have been taught and told your entire life long are likely the reason why it is that you might be having issues right now with drawing things to you that you need. It is because you do not believe that you will have them. You believe you won’t because someone told you that you are not worthy of those things, and so instead of going with the path of least effort, all of us chooses to try to prove someone else wrong when all we really have to do is prove our own selves right.

With that last thing, because it is a new thought about your old thought regarding proving someone else wrong, you have been given a tool – the thought that you only have to prove yourself right rather than trying to convince someone else that you are not wrong – is a good example of how this all works. Please think on these two things (1) Proving someone else wrong…versus (2) proving only yourself to be right…

Thinking about the first one, I am betting that you have a tightness in your gut right now and it is not very comfortable. This is your gut reaction. It is open to your questioning of it, and is open to your just actualy letting it go.

Thinking about that second one, I am betting that there is a bit of trepidatious warmth there that right now, you are not trusting, because you do not believe it, even though the warmth is what is telling you that you ought to believe it because it is your own truth that you know IS true…

Remember that feeling, specifically, because it will be your guide as to what you are more willing to believe. Understand now that soetimes, that feeling is subject to be questioned, but that is not for right now. Just learn from your own bodily signals what is, and what is not, your truth.

You may well end up believing your own truth…it is worth a shot to find out, right?


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Paying Attention

ghetto allegory paying attention college lecture hall pic.jpg

Paying attention is one of the most important things that any human being can do. It is more important, though, for a human being who is also a light worker to know just how important it is, and more, how to do it effectively


It took me a long while to learn to do this one thing, because I am easily distracted, and usually it is by things that have not one thing to do with me. This is the …impediment…of light workers – no, not paying attention, because really, we are quite good at it.  The impediment is that we have many things in our awareness that calls our attention away from the thing at hand (that thing called distraction is a pain in the butt…keep reading…).

Of course, there are those of us who would rather NOT deal with the uglies, would rather and only like to tell people how to do things, why they ought to do things, and all according to us, rather than according to these others and their needs. There are also those of us who, without realizing we have done so and more, without understanding exactly what we are getting into when we get into the things that we do, do not understand, or perhaps refuse to accept, that we now are wearing the energies of those who we first set out to help (and we are ALL guilty of it…not one of us is not), and I am guilty of having worn the harsh energies of others and not realize that i was.

This is, at least in an example for this writing, why we light workers sometimes have a very hard time paying attention to the subtleties and the tiny little reverberations sent to us in the form of things that suck. We humans HATE things that suck. We want things to be lovely and comfy at all times. HOWEVER, there are a whole LOT of us here who believe that things are not always going to be lovely and comfy. I cannot stand it when things are not lovely and comfy, but, I have, over time, learned to utilize those times that suck as being time for me to research, not just what is happening, but more, how those involved are dealing with it.

I don’t do it for the purpose of using what I learn against anyone – that is not what the purpose of anything “weirdness” is about. The last thing that I need or want anyone to think or believe that anything that you read here is meant to teach you to do harm to others with your gifts. It is the opposite of that. Your gifts are meant for you to enhance YOUR life so that you can go out and help others learn their gifts so that they can enhance THEIR lives without bringing harm to others.  (Unfortunately, there are many among us who do not think this way…keep reading)

Paying Attention when things suck

I guess I am one of those strange weirdos – I tend to pay attention more when things suck than when things don’t suck. I am not sure why. It could be the fight or flight thing, or it could be that I am doing what I am teaching you to do or at least have a clue about right now, and that thing is paying attention.

The reason why it seems like you cannot wrap your own head around why some of us who are gifted can and do see, hear and sense things that others are having a hard time also doing those things with is simple – they are more inclined to see the result rather than they are inclined to do the work in order to see what anyone with these gifts (we all have them…some of us use and practice with ours more than others…it is the truth…use it or use it feeling like your losing it…keep reading…) might also sense but from their own perspective.

For Instance…

When we get physically ill, most of us, if we cannot heal from the illnes ourselves, will see a physician. Generally this is someone called a “primary care physician,” or a “general practitioner.” Either way, we know that this person is a doctor of medicine.  We go to see the doctor, and we find out that we have to see a specialist, and we all know that a specialist is someone who does only one type of medicine. We see the specialist, and find out that we need surgery. Again, we are referred to another specialist.

In that same manner, we are all specialists, as much as we are all healers of some sort. Like a GP will be able to diagnose what is going on, they might not have the training to treat your ailment. You see the specialist, and that guy tells you that the reason you are sick is because you have something stuck where something shouldn’t oughta be stuck. That guy refers surgery. I used this analogy because always, a medical doctor has to pay attention, and in paying attention, that doctor can tell you what is going on simply because of the things that you are telling them, as well as what it is that they are seeing and hearing and sensing with their own physical senses.

In this way, we weirdos have this same thing going on, but, we do so in the sense that is “other than” body but which can lead to bodily ailment.  Thinking in those terms, if someone comes to you with a sad story, and their sadness has lasted them many, many years of their life, and then they tell you that they always feel an ache in the middle of their chest, it would make sense to a light worker that this person’s physical situation is brought about by their emotional and mental energies and thoughts.

Energies and Thoughts

In this tangible, material world, and for the bulk of our lifetimes, we have been taught that our things are what are meant to show the world who we are. This is only half right. Without the idea in our heads that we would want certain things, there are not many things we have in our lives because the simple truth is that we would not have the thought to have them or be desirous of them.

Thing is, we truly do not know our own power in that indeed, whether you want to believe me or not, our thoughts become things. Sometimes those thoughts are the ones that sound like we are not good enough to have the things that we want, and more times those things that are not great are the ones that we tend to believe more than the ones that are good.  In terms of getting things that we want, we tend to have a problem with believing that we will have them, so, in kind, we think a thought that neutralizes the good thought with a thought that is equally as energetically strong. We are magnetic in nature, meaning that everything about us draws (ready?) NOT who we are, but what we think we deserve. 

Before you go on with thinking that I am telling you that you are thinking wrong, what you also need to know is that everyday, and every waking moment of the day, we have the chance to think in another manner, and really, it is all about reprogramming one’s own mind and thoughts to think thoughts that are believable and positive about anything at all. Yeah, I know, I have made it sound soooo easy, but, we all know that the way the majority of us have been taught is that this…heebie jeebie…mind stuff is all a bunch of garbage. Let’s look at that for a moment, shall we?

Heebie-Jeebie Mind Stuff

Of course…you have…we all have heard about all of these..”psychic networks”… and if you have contacted one or more of them in the past, fine, good, great…you are not bothering me or anyone else who also does that sort of thing. However, what you are not thinking about or perhaps believing is that we are all…ALL able to do those things that some of us have paid at least 3.99 a minute for. (I actually used to get paid for this…but, I got let go of because I could not lie to the callers…I was actually doing my job…read on…)

The thing is, as I stated, we are all able to do the heebie jeebie mind stuff, but most of us are either (a) impatient and do not want to practice it or (b) are not paying attention (because you have not been coached on how to make it so that you CAN focus and pay attention), (c) are too lazy to do the work involved in learning to focus AND pay attention, (d) do not believe in your own source of power (meaning that you need to contact me so we can work on that) or (e) all of these things. Most of the time, it is a combination of all of these things, and that is something that has to do with learning to pay attention.

Yes, Grasshoppahs…you have to learn to pay attention

You are reading that correctly…we human beings have to learn to pay attention.  By this I mean that whatever it is that we are focusing on, whatever it is that we are paying attention to will grow. No matter what. The Universe does not pay attention to anything more than our energy. In healing work, most light workers are able to focus their attention on their client(s) so as to be able to pinpoint, most of us with pretty good accuracy, where it is that the healing must take place. Once it is that we have pinpointed that, we are typically able to pinpoint other things, based on the astrological correlations to the body and the signs of the zodiac.

This same thing can be and is done with everything else. I did not understand it until I tried it, and now I am living it – I didn’t think that I would be able to live my life, carry a very full college schedule, and still have the same amount of time that I have always had for the people who I love to be with the very most (Hi kiddos…and yes, of course…hello to my Maestro…muah!) …and yet, I am doing exactly that. I am not the person who is (or was) super focused. I used to just think about what I wanted, wanted to do or have or be, and, then I would pine over it and whine over it and ultimately would just give up hope that I would ever figure out how to pay attention.

I am fond of saying it a LOT – “…’auhea wale ‘ana’oe!”  PAY ATTENTION ! 

It will take practice, but I know you will come to the realization that all this time, all you were doing was paying attention to things that have nothing to do with you. The first person who anyone, specifically a light worker, needs to pay the most attention to is, themselves.

No…really…try it and see for yourself


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