Saturn is back at home in Capricorn. Be cool. Dadʻs home…and you are either getting ice cream or grounded.
Well now, it has been some time since I last wrote this blog, and really, I have no clue what I am doing now, writing it this time and at this time because I have a lot of stuff to do.
And that is the thing – I have not been able to write my blogs as I usually do because for the last…I donʻt know…letʻs say the last year or five, I have, without my own knowing I have been proverbially AND literally cleaning house because yeah….our celestial dad, Saturn, is home in Capricorn. (Mine is a 6th house Capricorn…meaning that I am actually answering the energies of my Sixth house…HOUSE….not personal planets…read on).
There are a lot of ways to look at it all, ruminate it all, think, say and feel what we will, about it all but the bottom line is that Saturn, even though it is a pain in the ass (ask me about my little old dad, Ron and I will tell you stories that you will laugh at that, at the time those stories were lived out, my dad was being a pain in the ass about things….I will explain further so please….keep reading…) wants to reward those of us who have done the work involved to get to that next level.
NOW, the “next level,” you see, might not be on the physical plane (not yet, that is) because there are some humans who will not be able to handle things in the physical reality (yet) that they, themselves, have manifested, and because Saturn is the great teacher (just like Ron was when he was one of those) and because Saturn does not pull any bullshit – Papa Saturn wants us to do our best, wants us to rise to the level that we are meant to so that we can live out our soulʻs purpose while we are in a body (and if we choose to buck against it, I promise that you will get another chance at it – this whole “life is a pain in the ass” thing….and it might not be the same way you are in a body now…you could come back as the opposite gender and totally not the pretty, neither the handsome, way…keep reading.) .
I cannot lie – my mother is Wise, and has always been, but, my father – that guyʻs like way crazy book smart. When I was a kid, my parents sent me to private school. My dad was very strict – WITH MY TEACHERS – and very much was the disciplinarian when it came to my studies. He is who taught me how to be the teacher that I Am at this time, and no, I am not a “regular” everyday teacher in the manner that anyone would think unless you are talking about teaching other humans, of all ages, to be their best selves.
My teaching credential reads “Certificate of Ordination” in that manner.
I am a teacher….like, for real.
I am credentialed in the state of California to teach on a 90 day emergency basis as a substitute. Yes. I am currently looking at those options in terms of another “thing” that I can do, here in my world, NOT for the pay, but, for the opportunity to learn about other people (that I have a houseful of young people,ranging in age from 13 to 51…hey, I have to include me and my other half….is irrelevant to the idea that these young people are who are the other inspiration for this writing) and to further my abilities as a Shamanic Woman and a healer. It is, I promise, never only for the amount of pay where I am concerned, and mostly for the …Neurological Cognitive Behavioral observations, as well as the human interaction that I am more interested in.
Right now, right this moment, I am ….well, I am okay but not, but, I also know that these things that happen within me happen so that I may know that I am not hearing, seeing, thinking things that all match up, and when they all match up (in my world they are called correlations...or the measure of the extent by which two variables are related… ) it is time to start actually paying attention, NOT ONLY to the physical thing in front of you, BUT, to the theme of the thing happening all around you, and yes, always yes – your own energetic reaction to it all, at all times.
When I say “theme” I mean what is going on in every sector of your life that has the similar flavor to other things. Like the idea of having a completely ironic life, even though up to the point of that irony, things seem to go very well. Things get done, and that which needs handling gets handling, but only to a certain point. Yes, I know that there is always the underlying energy that could be actually psychological in nature, but, just as much, there are other things that are on this planet and in this awareness with us and there is no one who is going to be able to convince me otherwise. I have spent my life, not only with my dad as a teacher, but, my parents as the founders and funders of the last church that I had to attend – the one that they started.
This means that I have the ability to see things from a whole lot of different areas of life, and it also means that as a Pisces, I am also able to literally, through my own Spiritual gifts and talents, feel, through intuitive means, what another person is feeling. Most of the time, I am feeling my guyʻs energies. Right now he might believe that he is the reason for the current turmoil.
The current turmoil is what brought me to a Truth that I did not want to face, that I am certain that I have known for as long as I can recall. I have a deep seated fear of things that I feel outnumbered by, and always, it seems, I am outnumbered by the opposite gender. I have always been.
Now, lots of people would wonder why I have this deep seated thing going on, but, what no one thinks about when they are thinking about someone elseʻs “things” is that they are not being empathetic at all – they are placing that other person in their shoes in terms of handling turmoil, and they are not placing themselves into the position that the other person is, currently. This was made apparent to me this past week by an older male family member, making reference to the idea that somehow, I must be doing my life wrong, because I refuse to take his suggestions. That guy, I have just realized, has not ever been able to place himself in someone elseʻs place, in terms of their current experiences and how their past damage is lending to that psychoses of the soul that is Now. That guy has always just sort of made it so that he can use his ethnicity as his reason for stating things without thinking first, and more, he is one of those people who cannot see past themselves in any situation and yes – that includes when you are trying hard to help them understand and they simply refuse to.
It is not that they cannot, but that they will not bother to place themselves in anotherʻs energy – and why should they? They donʻt have to deal with someone elseʻs shit, right?
But, that is how people become kind of clueless to the plight of others, and that is how they end up becoming even adversarial with others, because those others bring to them the idea that there are other people on this planet and those other people are not having the same lovely life as the clueless person is. I mean, really – how in the hell is it that anyone else, based on the way that they fucked up their kids – how the hell is it that that guy is gonna have the fuckinʻ balls to tell me – a very good parent and a teacher with not just any kind of teaching skills, but, the sort that is meant for adults of the actual and complete sort…not the wanna be frat boy cool guy sort who seems to never go through any kind of crap.
And my actual issue with him is not that he is not going through some crap (because I donʻt know that he is or not…it isnʻt like I call the dude everyday) but, that he chose to tell me how he thinks I ought to take care of the crap that is OTHER PEOPLESʻ and that even though it is what it is – what it ainʻt is all my fuckinʻ fault…yeah….fault ….as though it is my fault for having been beaten, and well – every other kind of abuse that one could think has the propensity of happening…and the way that that last thing fits in is that the person in question is one of those people who is clueless to the things coming out of his mouth – and the sort who will tell a woman not to get raped, instead of teaching men and boys to NOT rape….(yes – he is a victim blamer….and I would tell him to his face, and his kids would beat my ass and make it my fault again….seeing a pattern yet, guys? )
When we see that our lives have become hard to deal with, and we end up being in this energy that is not kind to us, and our minds, at that point, feel chewed and our thoughts can do nothing but make us afraid, it is a good idea to start looking at the correlations between energies…not things, not people, but energies, because before there is the ability to have correlation between anything material, there has to be correlation between energies first. When there are correlations between energies, and all of the conditions outside of those energies begin to show that there is a pattern of stuff going on this is when we are able also to see the correlations of things.
The way that I have used correlation in my work as Kahuna is simple – I do not look to the things that are going on in the tangible world, because those things are the end result of other things, typically oneʻs point of emotional focus and have happened whether or not we are who has had our hands in the energies, or if it is that we have only bothered to look at the end results without pondering all of our own steps. The thing that a lot of us have heard that can sum this up in one short sentence and that pretty much will give you what it is that is part of this teaching is as follows:
” Thoughts Are Things”
Think about what you have read to this point, about the reason why you were compelled to click on my link and read these words and also take a look around you right now – I am certain that there are things in your own awareness that you have an emotional connectedness to and that those are the things that you might have desired the very most, at any given one time in your life, and you did not think about much more than the idea that you really liked that thing and that you had a desire for it, no matter what it was and is now and is in your physical awareness.
Now, think about when you ended up with that thing in your life, and how it is that every time you scan the room, the very thoughts that you just thought about that one thing are always the very thoughts that you have always had about that one thing, and since it is now in your actuality, you have evidence that thoughts are things.
How the hell do you think it is that everything in your life came into your life? You thought about it and you did not think about it in the manner that is “I WANT THAT NOW” but, likely at that time, more along the lines of “oh wow…thatʻs very cool” and just sort of left it at that. Yet, over time, that thing and that thought came to you, and during that time that was passing, you do not realize that you were making yourself ready for that thing, no matter what that was.
For me, that one thing was to find my other half. It took me a long, long time, but, I did just that – I found specifically David.
I was very clear about it, apparently, because the man knows that he is damned nearly everything to me. If you asked him, he would tell you that this is the truth.
Over time, I did not think about any end result – I just kept my thoughts wide open about it.
And those thoughts about this person and his energy that I was not aware was his, because even as I do not know what was in his head, and while I have taught myself to stay out of it now…what I DO know, for real, is that this personʻs love for me, specifically, is as big, deep, and endless as mine is for him.
I did not know, at the time that I thought these things, and the idea that his was the only picture in my head, every time, and not of his actual self, but, of his energetic self, that all this time, I was sensing him, his energy….I do not ask myself, anymore, how it is that I ended up with this beautiful soul in my life, because I know that it was the magnetic Universe that caused it.
…and it is, even in its calamity, is the very most beautiful thing in the world to me.
I do not, anymore, ask myself how I got here, neither why…I got here, to this point and I am the reason (and so is David, because his was that EXACT same energy that was mine…meaning that I was not alone in this whole…manifestation of my Guy…I know how we came back into one anotherʻs lives – WE ASKED FOR IT TO COME TO US, somehow.)
Saturn, Ice Cream and being put on “groundation”
Hahahahahahaa….”groundation” hahahahahahaaa…that is what my neighborhood pals and I called being grounded – we were put on groundation. I look back and I was always on groundation, and it was always about things that I was not learning very well at school, such as math.
It does not mean that I am not able to do math – it means that I have to create other beliefs about my relationship with numbers, because the ones that I have now tell me that I am an idiot when it comes to math and that is not the truth. Mathematical understanding requires practice, just as much as it took me years to write anything, let alone as much as I write these days. I have been told that I am genius with my words, that now when I also speak them, they have a sort of …magick … about them, and not because I Am What I Am .
My Magick is contained in my thoughts, and I am very well aware of the fact that I am the reason why it is that right this moment, even as there are things that are happening in my world that are not within my own control, that which IS mine to command are my thoughts. Right now, my thoughts are about my family and I having better days ahead, and about David and I travelling when I am again ready to speak publicly – right now, I am appreciating the fact that a year ago, I was not this confident about my way with words or the effect that my words have on others.
When I tell people that I am a bad ass when it comes to words, there are not too many people, unless they are so freakinʻ deluded by their own closed-mindedness, who disagree with me – I know that my specific magick, both the sort that is me and the sort that is of the cauldron is all tied to my ability to communicate to the masses, certain things that we all think about, and that I think about those things all the time. I think about those things all the time because that is my work in the world – to think before I do things, because my job indeed DOES impact the lives of other people, and because of this, I am very careful with the inner worlds of those who I coach.
Pretty much, I know that words are powerful, can be used to heal or to bring harm. Because the life of Kahuna is built on our words and our ability to understand them both literally and metaphorically, and because we are the Prophets, the Poets, the Seers and the Medicine People of my culture, we have been taught, much as my dad taught me, to value our knowledge, value our ability to learn and most of all, to enjoy passing that knowledge and that Wisdom on to the generations that follow mine.
…he he he….and I have the nerve to do so on campus at school (totally a Pisces thing, to be at school….”school of fish” …I totally belong at school).
And it works.
Every time now.
And the reason that it would present itself, this gift of mine, so prominently at school is because I was shown my prowess with words at a very young age, by an adult person who cared enough that he would teach his firstborn the value of knowing how to read and write and well, haha, hell yeah – it has to be a thing for him to think that of a lot of people who he knows, I am as brainy as I am because of him. Without my “Obi-Won” – my dad, I do not get to be the word Jedi that I am.
There are a few things you might want to ask yourself when pondering how the hell it is that you got here…who were you able to trust, and what can you recall happening at the time that you were going through something that seemed to take forever, and what steps were you taking that were just like the last time things were like this and how are you able to see now, at this time, is not that different in that you are able to make the choice to not do things the same way that you did in the past? This is all Saturn stuff, all stuff that has made us cry, made us work for what it is that we want, even if it feels and appears that we are working all over again for the things that we had when in reality, at least where I am concerned, the only reason that I have bristled at the idea that I need no halau (school) to teach a group of hula students in because….ummmm…yeah…..
…duh – because I am NOT that person anymore, and I am not that patient anymore, and I am not that, anymore.
Instead, I have, without my realizing so, been touting Hula as a healing tool, as medicine, as anything that anyone who is not me or even the tiniest bit like me would put forth the effort to make happen. And really, I do not realize that it is happening – all of it is happening right now and I am helpless to stop the big giant Saturn in Capricorn wheel of the clock from turning.
This time, though, it does not feel like it is turning out to be a bad thing, really. In fact, once it is that I can get past these other things that I have to deal with right now (likely it is all in the mind due to the things that have been my experience as life with others in the past….yeah yeah I know…get over it…I am trying…keep reading, dammit) and once it is that I can rectify things in my head, I already know that I am going to see more there, in my awareness, than I have chosen to see in the past, and all of it because of Saturn being right there to make me KNOW when it was, or was not, the right move to make during the course of my almost 48 years on this planet.
SO many people have asked me about the things that have happened to me, how I got through it all with no tangible thing available to me so that I could get the right kind of help when the help was needed. The answer is simple – I did not have another choice than to just get through it all, everyday, and not look back.
I am pretty good at not looking back (fish canʻt turn their heads or look behind them – again…think about it), even though in looking only ahead of me I have managed, at times, to really make things worse for me. I can state right now, though, that over the last twenty years, I have learned, very well, a whole lot about owning responsibility for the things that bear my (proverbial) signature.
The details in terms of all of this Saturnian energy is that, and using myself, again, as the manner by which you will be able to better understand, wherever it is in your personal natal chart (yes, I DO read them and it ainʻt gonna cost you an arm, a leg, or any two or more body parts NOR your first born kid – my rates are pretty fair and “college kid, single mom, and cheapskate friendly”- ….send me an email, find me on Facebook – I use Messenger for readings, teaching, group coaching and personal coaching….again…email me) where Saturn and/or Capricorn influences are – and we all have them.
You see, there are still those people who do these things that I do, and who are there and willing to tell us all that we should be afraid of Saturn….but WHY????
Oh..oh yeah thatʻs right – because the populace is better off ignorant…I forgot.
No! NO it is not….anyhow, I wake up fairly early everyday – I have to. I have teenagers and this guy here who is still snoring and those old people who I adore so much, even though they make me crazy, and sometimes all of them at the same time have this specific, insanity producing magick about them. And most of the time, it is at the most inopportune time that it can happen (and that is when you need, all of you, to remember to PAY ATTENTION to the things going on OUTSIDE of that one thing – what is it teaching you and WHAT ELSE HAS THE ENERGETIC FEEL THAT IS THE SAME THING???).
There is nothing to fear with Saturn, and neither is there or should there be any kind of fear right now at this time while Saturn is in his home sign and house – Capricorn in the Sixth house of daily living.
I would like you each and all to consider that today is one of those days that I have and that I cannot control having – I have been having these particular kinds of days lately, or at least for the last two weeks lately, and all of the issues that I have been having have been primarily with men. You see, my other half told me something that stood out to me a few days ago, and most recently, my friend from school, a young lady I call JaNess and another named Mindy….the whole Arise office, from the staff to the students – every single one of these people have told me, and it was confirmed this morning – like ten minutes ago – that I need to be far more merciful towards myself in regards to…well, myself lol
That it is the truth is one thing but, that I will have a bit of challenge trying to make it all happen is the other thing – Saturnian energies are not always the sort that will beat the shit out of us – sometimes, it will reveal to us the thing that we need to do, the thing that will be the most important and that will make the rest of …well, everything…happen much nicer and in a way that people can see, but, specifically I will know is the truth.
I need to be gentler with me.
This is the Truth.
All my life, I was, through the messages that I received from people who did not know and still do not know the power of words like I know them….the message that I received is that I am good but not the best and the best was always said to be above everything else, and that everything could be tossed aside. I received the message, all my life, that what I do must stand up against whatever anyone else does, and it has to be as good as theirs, because no matter what, mine is not and will not ever be “good” or “enough” to be either of those two energies. All my life, I have struggled with these messages, and all my life I have had the unfortunate reality that I have to live up to whatever it is that anyone else expects of me and that no matter what, my best is not good enough for them, meaning that it is not good enough at all and wonʻt ever be.
This is the thing that I was taught growing up – that I am good, but that I am not the best, even though the “best” according to anyone else is never and wonʻt ever be good or enough. And that is fine with me, because people who expect others to be the best, to be good and to be enough for them are the same people who are not aware that above all else, we only have to be the best, good and enough for ourselves and in that energy, we will be those things anyway because we each and all ARE those things by right of being Na Mamo – one of the cherished ones.
You see now, here in this writing that sometimes, the lessons that we are being taught are not about things that we donʻt want, but, are instead and typically about things that we need, mostly to do for ourselves and the one thing that I need to do for me is to be more merciful, to know that just because those people in my life when I was a child did not know how to talk to me, it does not mean that I do not know how to talk to me – it means that this is my lesson. I need to accept that I am a worthy person, and that at some point I will have to learn to receive, graciously, every time anyone gives me anything at all, even if it is a hard time.
The hard times are when we are being taught what we do not want.
We learn to accept things as they are. More importantly, we learn, as well, what we are not, and I am NOT open to more self-punishment.
NO one ought to be.
In fact, I have this crazy notion that somehow, we do not like taking on the responsibility, do not like taking ownership of the things that suck and we certainly do not want anyone to tell us, not about how we feel but rather how we are choosing to stick to our anger rather than to the thing at hand, and always, when it is worth the time, the thing at hand boils down to this very important thing called Love.
This is the thing that we all forget about, a lot of the time – this thing that is needed, this thing that is the Universal life stuff, this thing that motivates and has the propensity to destroy if it is thought to be something that it is not. What is not the truth of right now is that the Cosmos is out to destroy you. The reality is that Saturn is currently trying to make it known to you that there are things that you have not yet rectified, and things that you are keeping yourself from learning about, and things that you have no idea that are the very things that you need to know in order to advance to the next level of Being.
For a moment, think about just exactly how big that thought is. Think this way – you have been through hell, and along the way, you have been proved right and wrong, and in between, you stopped to see where you had been, thought youʻd not been anywhere or done anything meaningful in quite some time but the thing that you did not think about, the thing that a whole lot of us practitioners who also teach our Craft are not really considered Being is Human.
People forget that even while we are teaching others how to employ their own power in their lives, we, too, are learning what it is that we are to use our skills for, and who that group of people is, and why it is that they are who we are, at any given time in our lives, working with. We are always teaching and learning.
The things that you have been waiting for, and the things that you have wanted, and the things that have been the very core desires of your soul – these are the things that you are waiting to see to fruition. You have worked hard and have been through a whole lot over these last couple of years, and specifically, for a whole lot of us, this last year, in particular.
Not because of the US administration, but because there were things that we needed to learn in order that we would be able to get where we are now, which, for a lot of us feels like and looks like nowhere, but, what we cannot see is that for every stage in our lives, we are there, with our most important people always around us, and there, with them cheering us on and making certain that we are not going against who we are for the sake of the rest of the planet.
Pretty much, the thing that Saturn brings to us is that Truth that hurts, the one that makes us realize that there is still work to do, and that the work is not outside of us but within, where it matter, and yea – where it is the hardest to complete because it is the work of art that is ourselves.
…sort of puts it all in a different light, doesnʻt it, this thing called trials and turmoils?
Your answer is not the one that is heard….but the one that is created in spite of and even through the energies of the turmoil at hand…
-What, now that you know what the turmoil is all about, is your intention with all of these energies??? Feel free to put your answers in comments…