The things we learned (but donʻt know yet that we learned)


The things that we learn from our experiences are the things that also, we teach…

This is not news to anyone, the fact that the things that we learn, that we do not know we are learning, that we go through and that feel like our lives have turned on us are the things that, as these people who help others learn to heal their lives, we also will teach.

Right now, I am learning the fine art of letting go, am relearning and honing my own prowess with Hoʻoponopono healing, and am pretty much seeing in all of it more of who, and more importantly, what, I Am.

What I was reminded of, throughout these last three months, is that when there are things that allow someone elseʻs ego to thrive, and when it feels like your soul is in need of rest, that it is time, right in that moment, to assess the reason WHY we hang on to things, and more, people, even when they make us feel like we are the worst person on the planet. It feels worse, this feeling, when you know and are very dearly aware of the opposite being your own personal Truth.

A very short time ago…perhaps two weeks at the most….there were some who we share the air with, some who I share DNA with, who tried very dearly to make it my truth – that I am somehow “bad,” because they want it to be THEIR truth, that I Am someone whose intent is anything but pure.

There is nothing that can come between our sense of our own purity of thought, which simply means that in y case, when I, specifically, think a thought, it is ABSOLUTELY OF THE UTMOST PURENESS OF INTENT, because the last thing that anyone who teaches these Divine things wants is for those learners to both learn and apply what they have learned to be something whose outcome is not great or possibly even detrimental to them. We are meant to give others understanding from an organic point of view and one that is not spoiled by the Egoʻs intention of protecting through fear rather than through truth. We want to be able to be everything that we can be to others but always we forget about our own selves. The thing that we do not understand is that the learning comes from what it is that we do not understand.

The things that we do not understand are the things that make us hurt for what seems like no reason or not a good enough reason. The things that hurt for what seems like not good enough of a reason are usually the things that we have, without knowing, allowed to control important parts of who we are and by that manner, controls, also, parts of our lives that we thought we were able to handle and then later found out that there were other things inside of that one thing that we were not aware of.

This is where our greatest level of learning comes from – those things and events that we just cannot understand.

Right now, and since April, I have been going through this very thing – the misunderstanding of how others relate to who they THINK we are versus who we are for real. Who we are for real, sometimes, we are not aware of and when that happens, we are led to that place within us where those parts of us that we are not aware of are brought to the surface of things so that they can be utilized or, if it applies, worked through so that those things that would require that attention from us and that hurts us  can be let go of.

It is the letting go of things, even when we are not aware that they exist – this is the hard part for us, because we are not taught how to let go. We are only taught to cling tightly to things, even if it means that we end up losing out on things that we do not realize are in manifest. We are taught to be cautious, and some of us are to the extreme with it. We hang tight to things that strangle our growth and inside of that strangled energy is the seed that we need for our own growth.

Why we fear letting go

I have a theory, and that is that human beings will hang on to things, even things that scare or hurt us, because those things are familiar and we know all about things being familiar to us – those things that are familiar breed contempt. What this means is that once we become too familiar with something or someone, because we are comfortable with that energy, our level of respect for them or that one thing or activity dips. We become complacent in the things that we are aware of and that we can (I guess) get away with when it comes to others and what it is that they need us for in those moments they need us.

One day, inevitably, whatever it is that we have grown comfortable with, like all else, changes. It could be anything that this happens with but, the one thing that is for certain is that like all of life, it all changes, it all grows and the “thing” that is within it that has the ability to change is the human element – our selves. Usually, we think that there is nothing essentially “out of place” with us. Then someone else comes and tells us otherwise, even, perhaps, without outright stating a thing to us that we are in need of change, badly, because the things that we are not changing are doing us no favors…and everyone within our sphere of awareness is changing. This is part of why some of us feel like we are playing a game of catch-up…because we think we have to catch up when really, we just need to change course.

It is not that we are not going to end up where we are supposed to end up. It means that somewhere along the way to wherever that is, we have a few things to learn, mostly about ourselves. We are not going to be effective for or to those who are meant to be with us in terms of their needing any kind of healing if we are not aware of where we need to grow.

What else we are not taught about change is that when we choose to fear the change instead of going through it (which is automatically make it so that those changes that we feared will go right into play) we are also choosing to stay stagnant. When we stay stagnant on some level we are choosing to rot in the choice of remaining the same as we were and preferring to live in that past experience of excellence rather than shedding those parts of our selves that are, at this point in our lives, no longer useful – including those formerly excellent selves we loved so much.

We do not think that way at all, that perhaps who we used to be and who was so so so successful in the past –we do not realize that right now, that person is not needed and if they were needed, we would BE that person still, and not the one who is learning to let go of that person so that we can become even better and more able to help others heal themselves for themselves.

No one teaches us to be brave and become who we are meant to be.

That is what I am here for – to teach others how to become their best selves.  I cannot imagine being the me who I was just about ten years ago.

When I go back that far, I realize that at that time I was in the middle of a huge huge loss. I was being brought back home to Los Angeles, to the part of life that needed me the most, that still needs me but needs me to be my best self as a Life Coach because right now, as it stands, there are a lot of people who are in the middle of their lives, in the middle of choices that they do not realize need to be made different otherwise the things that we do not understand that happen almost religiously are the things that repeat themselves because THOSE ARE THE THINGS AND THE HABITS AND THE WAYS OF BEING THAT ARE NO LONGER USEFUL IN THIS PART OF OUR COLLECTIVE BEINGNESS.

The Things and The Habits and The Ways of Being that are no longer Useful

When I bring up these things – the things that are no longer useful – I get raised eyebrows, mostly from people who are either twenty years my junior, or the other way, twenty years my senior. Because I Am that middle ground, I tend to see things that most folks donʻt, with one of those things being that I have no use for doing things, having things, being part of anything that is going to stall growth somehow. I cannot, much as the Universe also cannot, tolerate any sort of anything -not energy, not actual tangible things, not thoughts about things…not one thing…that allows the pain from the past to interrupt the growth that is needed for anyoneʻs future. This is the basis for my coaching practice, and the thing which I ask, always, once it is that we are past the idea that what we used to know and who we used to be will still have a good effect on our lives right now.

The best example that I have to give is the way that lately, I have been thought of by a few of my relatives. There are things going on right now that ought to not be going on in my life, even though I know that if they were not happening, I would not be able to see what the lesson for me is.

The lesson for me is to be aware of people, no matter who they are, trying to make others think what these certain others think about me. Even if they do not, the thought they thought at the time that it was shown to me was their Truth right in that moment. This means that more often than not, and based on the way that I was treated by these people in the past, that thought is their truth about me. It doesnʻt have to be all of their truth, but it is part of THEIR truth, but is not mine.

This means, too, that in me, there is something that mirrors back to anyone what is the actual truth of themselves and that I might just be the right mirror for that reflection of who they are to bounce off of.

While this is all fine and good and needed, what is NOT needed, at least by a lot of us, is for us to believe these ugly things, for us to think in the manner that we are what they want us to be, rather than our being who we are for real. Who any one of us is for real is up to us to create. When we are not being authentic it is felt at the very core level within us. This is when we are open and vulnerable to things that we might not be aware of and that might be alive and well and on display for the world to see. When we are not being true to our own selves, the entire world knows…that is, BUT us.

The thing that I learned about myself are things that I knew but are things that I kept hidden in the deepest parts of my Soul. They are the things that I never wanted anyone to know about, and things that, for a long time, have scared me and for no other reason than that they are part of my empowerment. I only came upon this one thing recently, that I am far more powerful than I knew I was, than I know that I Am. I am all that I want to be, even if lots of that person is still in build mode. THIS IS THE TRUTH ABOUT US ALL – THAT WE ARE POWERFUL CREATORS and that we are able to create and to live our best lives and more, are able to teach others, through our past experiences, to help others utilize theirs like we use ours.

It doesnʻt matter, and it never matters, as long as any one of us remembers that who we are is not to be kept away and silent. Who we are matters in that there are others on this planet who need to know, even if we never cross paths in terms of what we were sent here to do.

The bottom line is that we know who we are, and when we are learning something, we forget about who we are. Maybe not all of us, but, for the most part, we forget about our mission when we are being human about things, and we forget about the idea that we are here and breathing for a purpose, and that purpose is learning and healing our lives through that learning. What else we are here for is to make certain that what we learn has the ability to be taught. 

The way that we teach is up to ourselves, and the way that we learn is up to life, itself. The way that we give who we are the chance that we need to become is through practicing not being who we are no longer. Who we are no longer is our reference point for where we have been and what we have learned and the way that we do things is up to us to create.

The world in terms of healing and being who we are depends on what we learn and thrives on how well it is accepted by those whose lives we touch, those whose lives we have a part of in terms of teaching others how best to heal themselves. Our healing is not ours alone, but that of the greater, grander universe at large, and is dependent upon our being able to get through things and live to tell others how we did that much.

If we are to be of any good, kind service to others, then we need to learn how to deal with those others, even when they bring us hurt and harm and when they tell us who we are to them in those moments when we do not realize that on some level, we are not even being who we are, for real.

What the pain teaches is our own purity, our own level of justice and our level of fairness and forgiveness. We have to learn, as well, to forgive ourselves for all of the times that we thought the worst of who we are, and all those times that we allowed ourselves to believe what we were not was who we would always be. We are not what others want us to be, especially when those others are seeing only who they thought we were, perhaps many years ago, when who we were at that time mattered more than who we did not know that we would become.

There is no way that, in all of my years in this body, through all of these things that brought to me the things that I now use as part of my practices in this world, to teach other women and men how to heal their lives from the abuses that no one told them were abuses – I use those hurts, and those things that left splinters in my psyche and those ways of being that I did not know I was displaying, to teach other people in soul pain how to quench the fires that they do not know they have allowed to rage at the behest of the soul within the people who they want to trust and want to keep in their lives but, as they are, cannot.

It is not that we cannot keep them in our lives, but that for the most part, they have caused themselves to no longer fit there, neatly like they one time did.

This is the hard part of learning that much – that the teachers who we loved so much, trusted so much, and gave so much of who we used to be to are now those who, through our own actions and through the machinations of our higher selves, are now our students in life. They are now learning what we were taught by them, and they are now giving themselves, we hope, that second look at who they are not so that through the energies of that much, they will be able to create who they have always seen themselves as being for real.

So it pays, right now, NOT to curse their existence, but, to broaden the thought that they have given you of you by them, and see there what it is that they are learning…no…not about you….but about their very tortured selves.

What,in your life, are you hurting from right now that seems like an impossible thing to heal?

Find that out, then get in touch with me….letʻs meet you for the first time – this you who you need to meet and the One who you LOVE and donʻt know very well…that person named YOU.

Just gotta see things not as they are, because then you will have everything totally as it is….I know you will understand what that means the moment that you need to.

Until then….know that you are loved by the Grand Universe, by the heavens and of course, by Me…..







3 thoughts on “The things we learned (but donʻt know yet that we learned)

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